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The narcissist lacks empathy. Consequently, he is not really interested in the lives, emotions, needs, preferences, and hopes of people around him. Even his nearest and dearest are, to him, mere instruments of gratification. They require his undivided attention only when they "malfunction" when they become disobedient, independent, or critical. He loses all interest in them if they cannot be "fixed" (for instance, when they are terminally ill). People find the narcissist "cold", "inhuman", "heartless", "clueless", "robotic or machine-like". Early on in life, the narcissist learns to disguise his socially-unacceptable indifference as benevolence, equanimity, cool-headedness, composure, or superiority. "It is not that I don't care about others" he shrugs off his critics "I am simply more level-headed, more resilient, more composed under pressure They mistake my equanimity for apathy." The narcissist tries to convince people that he is compassionate. His profound lack of interest in his spouse's life, vocation, interests, hobbies, and whereabouts he cloaks as benevolent altruism. "I give her all the freedom she can wish for!" he protests "I don't spy on her, follow her, or nag her with endless questions. I don't bother her. I let her lead her life the way she sees fit and don't interfere in her affairs!". He makes a virtue out of his emotional truancy. All very commendable but when taken to extremes such benign neglect turns malignant and signifies the voidance of true and attachment. The narcissist's emotional (and, often, physical) absence from all his relationships is a form of aggression and a defense against his own thoroughly repressed feelings. In rare moments of self-awareness, the narcissist realizes that without his input even in the form of feigned emotions people abandon him. He then swings from cruel aloofness to maudlin and grandiose gestures intended to demonstrate the "larger than life" nature of his sentiments. This bizarre pendulum only proves the narcissist's inadequacy at maintaining adult relationships. It convinces no one and repels. the very important parts about lovePeace to all! I try to be short. 3 months in bed has led to a great deal of mood issues. (1 m home, 2 months hosp/or rehab, and now I expect the next 3-6 months still at home w/rehab. I now have a titanium for a femur: knee to hip, rather painful (Dec 27). I must use a and cannot drive eventhough it is my left leg. Obv my old cancer have been tossed. I now have 2 shots a month. One to destroy and remaining beastly cells, and the other to encourage bone growth. Lots of calcium too! I already had radiation (12) and again was burnt on both sides, somewhat resembling a cigar burn! One area on the left cheek and the other directly thru to the other side! Imagine what sitting is like! But viscious tumors were shrunk. My gf has again been my savior, when I was in the hosp or rehab she had 12 hrs work days and still saw me at the start and end of each day! And 12+ hrs on her 2 days off. I am truly blessed with her kindness. Sorry to admit I am easily depressed or moody or plain old grouchy. I try to blame it on my level 9 pain, or spasms or my whacked thyroid but need to admit that it is simply the fear of the unknown. ENOUGH on that subject. thanks to those that sent me and or cards. I read my cards every day at least once, they are very healing. Another time I tell of my new "add to the bucket". not a bucket list by far! So ya'll again I say: give a hug and a kiss, say I you, show how much, be kind, and as said do unto others . Peace and CANCER SUCKS over 50 singles
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