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I just had my first 3 weeks ago, so totally get the 'I feel like an asexual whale' thing. And I warn you, it's about to get a whole lot less sexy. First, you can't have sex for 6 weeks post birth. And on top of that, no sleep, infrequent showers, leaky boobs, stomach pooch, and birth images permanently seared into his mind. So, yeah, wise to work on none sexual ways to feel close. You might want to just have a conversation about that. Approach it like a problem to be solved. "Babe, I know sex is important to you what are we going to do when the comes?" I also understand what it's like to be with a less than romantic partner. I my DH completely, but he's just not the flowers and chocolate kind of guy. It use to bug the hell out of me. First, I had to really think about how important that was to me. DH is very good to me, so did I really need him to prove it in that way? I had to let it go a bit. The second part was being SUPER clear about my expectations. Things like '-, my birthday is coming up. I'd like to go to x restaurant and don't forget that lilies are my favorite flower!' Yes, it's not romantic to plan your own stuff, but it sure beats being disappointed. Then when he follows through, be very appreciative. The more DH got a feel for what I like, and saw how happy it made me, he started to take a lot more initiative. Lastly, don't put yourself out so much! Yes, I understand having sex because you want to please your mate, but don't have sex you really don't want to. That's only going to lead to resentment. I'm not saying withhold, but you need to make you desires matter at least on equal footing to his! Good luck. Congrats on the -! mature pantyhose capron
And this sounds to me like it is one of those cases. Actually, not selfish at all, if you both want different things and he is using guilt to hold you back from what you want, then he is the one being selfish. If he strung you along suggesting he was headed towards marriage, only to say no once you were to emotionally involved to just up and leave, then he is using you. Up and leave, well get things in order for a soft landing first, if it is an attachment relationship, and it sounds like it is to you, you are going to need some healing. Find a safe place for yourself, be kind to yourself, do all the things you did not have time for because you spent that time on him. When you feel safe and strong, take your new bad self out and start dating again. Best of luck lookn 4 a real womenDepending on where you live, there are local BDSM groups. They often have social get togethers ed "munches" and some of the more organized groups have websites and do skill seminars or conferences. If you e "bdsm checklist", there are a bunch on line. Find one you like, print it out, and both of you do it and trade. People with interests in the dom/sub stuff are individuals, and everyone likes things differently. It helps to have a common place to start talking. I'm a switch. One of my subs would write a journal. That helped me get feedback (she was shy about direct talking a lot of times) about what she liked/didn't like/tolerated because I enjoyed it/never wanted to do safeword city. Since I couldn't read minds and what does being a sub mean to her? There is so much variance out there. that helps! Feel free to post questions or read archives on this forum. web cam sex
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