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any fay guys Praia a Mare suck fall under this forum? I've received the best advice from LTR. I cannot depend on my wife. Prone to binge drink and sulk in depression, she refuses help herself. I am an emotional wreck, but know it’s better to end it ASAP. Help has been offered to her (professional counseling, recovery programs, and my support), she won’t take it. She suffers from an addiction to dysfunctional chaotic mayhem. DRAMA. Call me naive, but I didn’t know this type of person existed. The marriage is over but I my wife! She’s no longer living at home and most of her stuff is out. Am I just lonely, stupid for not cheering, or what? Everything is happening so fast. I am forced to make drastic life changes, like meeting with an attorney and prepare for divorce. Another drastic thing I am doing is hiring a live-in caretaker for the property, barn, and horses (have guest house). My work load and mainly mental state are not allowing me to keep up. It was my wife’s responsibility (no, she does not have a job; she was a housewife and did it well WHEN she did it). Today I interviewed my second decent candidate. The first being a nice couple (- females) who willingly want to help in exchange for rent. They are temporary and must leave in the. The other candidate is a single female (hippie) that is on a “life journey”. She is willing to work and loves the idea. That’s all after weeding through tons of crazies. With no luck I have tried to find someone that can just come and go in exchange for boarding a horse here. Now I’m trying to follow through with committing to the couple or the hippie. My main question to my LTR friends: What are the emotional pitfalls of doing or not doing this while I’m in this lonely confused state of mind? Logic says that this is a smart move that won’t cost me anything. It’s strictly business, but feels like I’m “hiring a new wife”. Is this because I’ve been in a relationship that was not? Basiy my wife was only an intimate caretaker? Has anyone ever felt horrible for still being attached to someone who hurt you so bad? I feel used in ways and don’t want to take on another dependent either. I think I answered myself. My relationship sucked and I’m not letting go for God know what reason. To me, marriage meant forever. Please share your thoughts. saturday morning massage
- of us are adults and have impulse control. what i mean is that we choose which urges to act on and refrain from doing reckless things that we might be able to "get away with". unless you are an adolescent or a sociopath, your goal is not usually to what you can get away with in life. it is to make choices that matter and live with integrity. you actually desperately NEED therapy, but you clearly don't WANT it. that is fine. if you don't want to change, then therapy is not some kind of magic pill that fix you. therapy is for people who are ready to make changes and willing to put in the work needed to actualize their goals. you are still rationalizing your behavior (hey, people do what they can get away with, everyone would behave like me if they could! OR i don't treat women nearly as badly as other men do) and defending acting like an adolescent neanderthal. i don't any to change in that. i do think that when you are 50 and single, and unable to attract women or find sex easily anymore, you might be lonely and envious of your peers who were able to form meaningful relationships and have families. but hey, maybe not. looking for a sexy mother and daughter super bennies
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