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We tried this in a number of ways (all failed miserably). At first we lived in the same house. I slept on the couch and he slept in the bedroom. Then he insisted that we rent a studio in a rooming house and that he and I switch off and on in the house so that the could be in a stable environment. That was worse than the first now I had two homes to care for and, believe me, he wasn't pitching in (except for the bare minimum) at either. Next, we lived in the marital home again but this time I was told to be in the basement family room by 1:00 am. If I wasn't that would result in a $ fee from my half of the profit sale from the home. He kept a notebook and took pics every night .that was fun. Then, I got a place of my own. I could barely afford it he knew it but I was damned if I was going to depend on him for shit. It is cute but nowhere near as nice as the house we bought together. I worked a deal with my LL to reduce the rent a bit (I made his dinners 3 nights a week, I cleaned his house once every two weeks, and did all the outside work at the rental as needed). This has been the best scenario by far. I don't need my STBX, he doesn't need me. Living together took much stronger people than either of us are. Know your boundaries and limitations and be prepared to eat a lot of shit if you go the route where you stay in the same domicile. did you get what you wanted for christmas
speaking from expereince you have to give your feleings time to settle before you decide to be friends. you need to give each other some room to feel the weight of not being together.. if not then you too continue to be together(just not with the title) but before you go this route make sure it's what you wanna do.. make sure you really don't wanna be with her 2 girls looking for funbut at this age, I'd take the philosophical route and let bygones be bygones. People and hook up for all kinds of reasons. Whatever flaws the ex has he at least hooked up again, and I imagine he has to have some good points to do that. It sounds like you resent him remarrying? If not then why would you begrudge him a 2nd or 3rd with someone? As for meeting someone new for yourself, lots of good advice here on the 50fo, someone here recently said to "fish where the fish are" go join up in an activity where people (men) are doing something you enjoy, that's a good place to start. fitness singles
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