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that there is anything wrong with the woman your wife has become over the years. She is her own person. An individual who is entitled to different likes, interests and hobbies. How boring she would be if all she did was act as a mirror to you, right? So I think, in a way, she is right in saying: this is your issue. She isn't changing YOU are. She is happy in her personal life. While you seem unfulfilled. You've decided that you want to be closer to her now, because you have nothing once the move on, etc. And I think its incumbent upon you to find fulfillment in your life. Develop your own hobbies, interests and goals. Be happy with your own person. That said this is only one-half of the issue. You are part of a couple. Marriage is a union of two individuals, creating a partnership. So, if the two individuals are whole and happy in their own right, then absolutely the partnership deserves attention and equal importance. The partnership is the other half of the equation and it seems like your wife isn't hearing you in your request to pay attention to the partnership. The partnership needs time, attention and focus too. Not just you as individuals. I think your success, or rather the success of the partnership, lies in the two of you making a concerted effort to nurture the partnership not change the other's hobbies, and individual focus. Start with that. Ask her to set one evening/day aside for the partnership dinner, movie, or whatever you like to do together. I find that walking our dogs after dinner together in the evenings is a great time to connect. Drives in the car together are fabulous there are no other distractions. You can do this! married but need eaten
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