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THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears except that he was missing was a good quarterback. Even after scouting other pro teams and colleges he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while watching CNN he saw a zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. BLAM! "I've got to get this guy the coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the wants is to his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are not my -!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old pauses, and then tearfully says, . "I never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!! im horny and high as fuck keeping party goingBush’s dig at Congress for being on vacation is ironic, as he rivals for the title of “presidential vacation-time record holder.” Some highlights of Bush’s time away from the office: – Attended 95 sports-related events. – Made 74 trips to his Crawford ranch, for a total of days. – Made trips to Camp, for a total of days. – Attended fundraising events for Republican candidates and causes. Over the course of his presidency, national catastrophes have taken shape while Bush has been on vacation. When he was in Crawford before , Bush ignored an infamous memo about an impending bin Laden attack. Similarly, Bush brushed off warnings of Hurricane in while at the ranch. While congressional conservatives held political stunts on the House floor, Bush was kicking back at the Olympics. And as Russia invaded, Bush attended baseball, basketball, swimming, and softball games in Beijing, where he also made time for an hour of mountain-biking and playing beach volleyball with the. team. “I think the highlight was getting my picture taken with the teams,” he reflected. The AP observed: “Bush was in the mood to talk sports, not policy”: hang out for passion
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