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As a and then as a middle aged I did not experience sex, because I entered the seminary and then priesthood, directly out of an all-boys high school. I am not complaining, mind you, since my lifetime of celibacy was a conscious religious commitment. After decades of dedicated religious service and successful ministry to people all over the world, I decided to retire from the church to investigate and pursue the things of worldly life that I had denied myself. First, I obtained a private pilot's license, a real thrill. Not only that, but I learned to sail, to scuba dive, and to drive race cars. I also began to take classes in subjects, I've been like a sponge, soaking up what contemporary life is all about. When taking and computer classes, I discovered the internet and pornography, for the first time. It didn't take to get over being ashamed and to become quite interested in learning about women and sex, via the internet. It's a thrill that eclipsed my other exciting new interests. So, after several years of my retirement, and having become friends with new people, I last night found myself in a rather steamy and intense situation with a particularly charming 49 year old divorced woman, whom I had once known by way of my last church assignment. Having resisted earthly urges all of my life, but now being in the process of great change, and especially since I've discovered pornography, I let my natural male instincts free. I engaged in an amazingly ecstatic, yet profoundly scary, sexual tryst with my friend. Though I am at once quite delighted and excited beyond imagination, I am also troubled by a tremendously disappointing discovery, one that I thought better of continuing to discuss with her, after I broached the subject at the time of discovery, very nearly putting an end to my "journey into manhood" before it began. Please, I just need to get off my chest, my absolute shock and dismay at that which I saw of her naked body, that was in stark contrast to what I've learned about women via internet pornography. Pussy hair. amateurs women from TauntonYour hurting so bad and I know because I was in almost the same situation a little over a year ago. Everything is not lost. You get through all this. Surround youself with happy people and stay awy from the downer people who to talk about problems. Decide to be happy and you get there. I not be as smart sounding as some of the other posts but this was kind of my life to so I’ll tell you about that. I got married and we were so much in that we did everything together. Maybe that was overkill or something because at some point I either got lazy or bored but I stopped thinking for myself and just expected him to make me happy. Like the other person said, that’s a big burden to put on somebody. I think maybe he started to resent me for not giving my share in the relationship and I got mad when I realized that it wasn’t that perfect marriage anymore but instead of us trying to figure out what happened we just grew apart which was really realy sad because we had so much going for us. I met a guy through a friend who listened to me when I was just in that sad place. I let him take over my thinking and he convinced me that he could make me happy. That’s where I screwed up thinking that another person had to make me happy. What I know now is that I have to make me happy. Anyway I left my husband who didn’t know what happened. He knew we weren’t as close as we had been but he was bad hurt when I left and I was mad enough to not care. There was some things about the new guy that didn’t quite seem right but I was so excited to be back into a relationship that I didn’t alot of things that people were telling me I guess I was stubborn or blind but I got mad at allot of people who were trying to make me stuff about him. He ended up just being crazy about me til he had me and then the challenge was gone. He was playing other people at the same time I was throwing my life awy cause I believed him. You say your husband keeps ing you. I say your so lucky. I dont’ know how my husband still wanted me but he did. I went back to him with a whole new beginning. i started to really appreciate how much we did have and didn’t take it all for granted. The big excitement with the new guy was just a temporary thrill that wasn’t deep like the memories I had with my husband. Maybe I didn’t know that then but I it clear now. Ne bad girl
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