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Kal, This insecurity issue is ruining your quality of life. This relationship or not last but you be dealing with yourself forever. Based on your posts, you are a bit sensitive about things, including comments from strangers on a message board. I had a therapist tell me something one time that really stuck with me when I was younger and struggling very hard with similar issues to yours. It is none of my business what people think of me. No one can guarantee their lover won't cheat. However, by constantly looking for it, by keeping that as your view of the world, you almost welcome that into your life. Try expecting the best. From yourself, from your boyfriend, by everyone. It won't feel comfortable or natural. It is, after all, a different reality than the one you've embraced until now. But act as if until you are. In reality, life isn't all good or all bad. It's a mixed bag and balance is needed. I hate that you won't a therapist, talking it out seems to allow logic a foot in the door. However, a small shift in your perspective (OK, a big shift) might make a world of difference in your quality of life and your confidence. Guess what? Confidence is sexier than anything physical. I you feel better and I am sorry you are hurting. However, knowing you have this issue and wanting to solve this issue at your age speaks volumes about you. You have the maturity and insight to understand the issue and the compassion to know others shouldn't suffer because of your issues. That makes you rather wonderful. So, you have lots of wonderful inside, now let it run around a bit and what the carefree side of life won't do for you for a while. Feel better. :) look for long term relationship
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