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I'm always astounded by the number of folks who seem to have as their relationship centerpiece, strict sexual fidelity. It gets to be so important, that sometimes I think it is seen more as ownership of another as opposed to relationship with another. It follows that they make objects of each other, and frequently expend their life energies with surveillance to enforce a list of rules and boundaries on each other, that frequently are counter to the species' instincts and they do it aggressively quite willing to take harsh, and even violent attacks as they dole out punishments. To me, not infrequently, it smacks of folly. There are so cultures around the world which affection and sexual activity as just good fun. They seem to community and each other as "us" and never objects. They share their food, home, and the like and they frequently have no games with winners and losers. They tend to have no fights, no bullies, and no victims. It is to our USA culture, impossible. But I've seen it work just fine. Sexual behavior is moral, not ethical. Ethics change very little both by generation and cross cultural. Morals, however, have wide variations, change over time, and are far less important than ethics. With that said, the bottom line is that even ethics are contingent upon situation. One last consideration = the "principle" of it. I'm gonna guess that in my lifetime (75), around the world, perhaps million human beings have been killed, by other human beings, over the principle of it. If that's not folly, I don't know what would be. looking 4 some one 4 sundayDid you point out the reasons you don't like going out to eat? Did you mention that the food is just not worth it? Or did you say "I don't want to go out to eat anymore" and expect him to know the reasons? It sounds like he wants to go out on dates and do things with you, surely you can still take in a movie or museum or other date type activity minus the dinner. Given the time you could also plan a night out in an area that has exceptional restaurants that be a bit of a hike from where you are. To solve his going out to dinner perhaps you can recruit a personal chef or friend who can cook and set up your home for an intimate meal neither one of you has to cook or take in a cooking class. It sounds like your issue is more a communication one than a control one. Find some alternatives, speak with him about solutions and you should be fine. single ladies
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