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/ Today Penguin made his first campaign stop in front of thousands of supporters. Entering the Gymnasium to his campaign, "Milkshake" by Kelis, the crowd waved signs and yelled in support. Penguins remarks were limited, but he wandered around and was patted by supporters for over an hour. "I would totally vote for Penguin!" said Zamecki, who had previously been leaning towards. At his speech, Penguin, though saying nothing but "scraaaawk" for over a half an hour, underlined the distinctions between himself and incumbent President, W Bush. Penguin is a homosexual penguin. He is incapable of speaking, of signing laws and bills, and perhaps even incapable of abstract thought. However, in retrospect, the past years of American Leadership have been so poor that Penguin would have easily been the best choice for. Penguins are coming out. Just recently, two penguins at the Central Park in Manhattan have celebrated six years of monogamy, and keepers have given them an egg to raise, which hatched succesfully. While Fundamentalists rally around Constitutional Amendments against Marriage, Penguins are proving that God has no problems with Marriage or Adoption. But what about Penguin as a Presidential Nominee? Why would he do a better job than W Bush? Penguin could not have signed the PATRIOT ACT, could not have appointed Ashcroft, could not have invaded a foreign nation, alienated our allies, or embarked on a dangerous and divisive cultural. bi sub loneeding for dominant womanShe walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching rail. As she stood there,brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "Hey, old woman! Have you ever danced?" The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet. The old woman prospector, not wanting to get her toes blown off, started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said, "-, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?" The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No, ma'am but I've always wanted to." There are a few lessons for all of us here. 1 Never be arrogant.. 2 don't waste ammunition. 3 Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 Always, always make sure you know who has the power. 5 don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid. local amateur woman
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