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the whole "nature nurture" thing probably works together with sexuality as it does for a lot of other things (says the psychology in me.) I feel like I was born because I have been much exclusively attracted to women my whole life. I have a friend though, who has said that he is attracted to women occasionally but much more likely to be attracted to men and has said that had his general level of attraction to men and women been reversed, he would probably feel like being was a choice. So maybe that is part of the issue; of the people who feel like it's a choice have enough same-sex attraction that they acknowledge it, but not enough that they feel like it's necessary for their happiness to act on it while people who are almost exclusively attracted to the same sex feel like it's not a choice because it's too prominent to just choose not act on those feelings. horny grannies around Wickenburg
Depending on where you live, there are local BDSM groups. They often have social get togethers ed "munches" and some of the more organized groups have websites and do skill seminars or conferences. If you e "bdsm checklist", there are a bunch on line. Find one you like, print it out, and both of you do it and trade. People with interests in the dom/sub stuff are individuals, and everyone likes things differently. It helps to have a common place to start talking. I'm a switch. One of my subs would write a journal. That helped me get feedback (she was shy about direct talking a lot of times) about what she liked/didn't like/tolerated because I enjoyed it/never wanted to do safeword city. Since I couldn't read minds and what does being a sub mean to her? There is so much variance out there. that helps! Feel free to post questions or read archives on this forum. a friend to freak withnot to have a safeword, and listen when you essentially told him that you had reached a limit without one. The reason you have a safeword is so you can say all kinds of things that might stop the play otherwise, but until the safeword is spoken he doesn't have to stop. It was his responsibility to put one in place as you could not know as a novice. There is no way for you to know every hard limit you might encounter before anything happens, which is another reason for a safeword. And somethimes what was ok one time might push past a limit another, and you have the right to stop for that as well. The dom has the right (and obligation IMO) to push your limits, but must also respect them. For him to say he would not accept no (without a safeword available) is unreasonable with any novice, or even anyone with experience. With this foreknowledge, you should be able ot find someone who is more acceptable and can provide you with hte experience you want and deserve. don't give up dur to one bad experience, use it as a learning one. free adult nsa
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