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need a lady friend to cool it with Stunning Comeback for Former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, who became famous around the world for his pronouncements when he served as Information Minister to Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein, staged a stunning political comeback today by being named the chief spokesman for the Pentagon in Washington. Mr. al-Sahaf, who made headlines as “Baghdad Bob” years ago by repeatedly proclaiming that the Iraqi army was demolishing invading. forces, appeared at a press briefing at the Pentagon this afternoon with a beaming Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, who ed the former Iraqi Information Minister “the right for the right job at the right time.” Explaining his decision to tap Mr. al-Sahaf as chief Pentagon spokesman, Secretary Rumsfeld said, “I realized that our spokesmen have been trying to do the same thing that Muhammed did years ago, only they aren’t as credible as he was.” Stepping up to the microphone, an ebullient Mr. al-Sahaf said that conditions on the ground in “have never been better” and that the insurgency was “all but vanquished.” “Democracy is flowering in so fast you wouldn’t believe it!” Mr. al-Sahaf added. “People think the new constitution is awesome!” When asked by a reporter about the burned-out cars that litter the streets of Baghdad and other cities, Mr. al-Sahaf was unfazed, explaining, “Their engines overheated.” The former Iraqi Information Minister was also upbeat about the trial of Saddam Hussein, telling reporters, “It’s moving even faster than Milosevic’s!” Elsewhere, President Bush acknowledged that prewar intelligence about had been false, and said that the. would discontinue its practice of ordering military intelligence from Costco. From Borowitz
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