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It's so peculiar how we on to the that our families become the warm, nurturing, and supportive people we need them to be. It sounds like your "parents" were weak in this area before you "came out," so chances are they not improve much with time. The treatment you have described is inexcusable in any situation. Time (and the lure of a granddaughter) might soften them a bit, but I have my doubts. I wonder what effect all this has on your daughter. These are toxic people and their poison has the potential to seep into all those around them (including your girl). I feel your (for family) in your posting, and the ache in your heart because this goes unmet. I have had more than a few friends who experienced rejection from their families of origin. They found great satisfaction and contentment as they built a "family" of their own choosing. Putting distance between you and them is a good thing and helpful in staying positive (very important if you live with chronic and/or terminal illness). As someone already mentioned, there is no book you can give them, there is no amount of and respect you can demonstrate to them, that change who they are or how they treat you. What you do need to do is TAKE CARE of YOURSELF. By staying physiy and emotionally, you are in kind, taking care of your daughter. I would also strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist that can help you work through some of the more traumatic aspects of your situation. Most community mental health agencies offer inexpensive (sliding scale) services at a very low rate. There are also group counseling situations that are affordable (or even free) based on your situation. (Contact any GLBT organization). I know people discredit therapy as a viable option, but having a someone who is empathetic, supportive, and genuine to talk with lift your spirits and help you get stronger. Blessings to you Divine .there are people out there who do care. Akureyri sex finderI've become intrigued though now by this idea of judgment, since (I can't help it) the judgment has been made that I am judgmental. And I'm sorry if I'm thinking out loud a bit, Bean, since you not be responding, but if anyone wishes to I would be very happy to hear her thoughts. So, since, for the sake of argument, I have a greater than average amount of judgmentalness, I am wondering what exactly the difference is between being judgmental and simply judgment. I mean, my understanding of judgment is that it is the process by which a person takes facts, impressions, prior knowledge, new knowledge, observation, etc and puts them all together when confronted with a new situation to "judge" or understand it, make connections, make decisions, etc. So, where is that fine line between doing that and becoming judgment al ? When one becomes disapproving because of the conclusion they have made? Or is there something more or less? And, more to the point, is it possible to do the former (make judgments) without doing the latter (being judgmental)? Is it possible to live a life in which we disapprove of nothing? Is that desirable? What if I (or you, or anyone) were not disapproving of torture? This seems like an awful idea, so I have to wonder if having standards and expectations of behavior (now identified as a required part of the social contract) means that being judgmental is also some part of the social contract? Or is there a way to tease those two things apart so they are not mutually dependent? Is being judgmental in moderation acceptable, and only becomes unacceptable (and therefore worthy of the judgment of others) when it crosses some certain threshold? What is the threshold? married online dating
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