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Here's the thing: You can't just pluck one thing out of the air and pass judgement on your BF's entire financial management without giving us a little more background. If $ is a negligible amount to him, then you don't get to judge. IF he has savings, isn't in debt up to his eyeballs and is generally fairly responsible then he can spend his money any damn way he pleases. It's not your place to "approve" of what he spends his money on, in that case. Do I think $ is silly for a pair of casual sneakers for ANYONE? Sure. I wouldn't pay it, I'm not really a fashionista, but I don't begrudge anyone paying, IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT. (I have to admit, I once saw a pair of Louboutins that completely entranced me but couldn't bring myself to spend $ on a pair of shoes. That's MY choice. It certainly doesn't stop some people!) However, I did pay $ for soccer shoes for my one year he was playing on a club/travel team, and he wears a size 15 hard to find even regular shoes, much less well-fitting soccer shoes (and they HAVE to fit, the way those had to change direction on a dime.) He took care of them, kept 'em clean and even conditioned them occasionally. He appreciated them. Does your BF's appreciate the shoes? Or does he just toss 'em aside like last week's paper? Do a backcheck and make sure that your own financial and romantic history isn't coloring your judgement on your boyfriend's spending habits. You grew up poor. OK, yeah, a lot of people did. Growing up poor doesn't make you morally superior. (Neither does growing up, but that's another story.) I can why you might be nervous, especially if your ex was not fisy responsible. You say that he likes to spend money, but again DOES HE HAVE IT TO SPEND? If you and he co-mingle your finances, then you might want to consider taking a financial management class together, such as Ramsey's Financial Peace (take the 13-week seminar, it's more powerful than the on-line offerings, because it's harder to duck behind rationalizations. :-) It's a great program for getting partners on the same, financially, and helping them organize their financial goals in sensible ways. Sao bernardo do campo girls looking for xxx
You said you want to get all your legal/financial ducks in a row then you say you couldn't bring yourself to break her heart on New Years? Which is it? You are doing a fine job of breaking her heart just by not being honest with her. It sounds like she already suspects something and your lack of honesty probably make things worse. Be honest. Wouldn't you want that? lonely mature ladies Bukowina Tatrzanska citybefore you jump into divorce, to find out what kind of shared custody you can expect the court to award in your case. In other words, how much documentation and expert testimony do you have or need to get in order to obtain full custody. I assume that you want to obtain full custody to continue to protect your, particularly your oldest, from your husband's abusive anger. Colorado is a no-fault state, but -if you can prove it gives the non-offending parent an edge. As bad as things are now, think how bad they could be for your if his father shares custody and he gets to have him without you there to intervene. So go get your ducks lined up. If you need a referral to a good attorney, contact me. My lawyer is very good; I'm in the middle of divorcing my husband of 18 years who, I only found out a few months ago, had been sexually our 8 year old daughter. online dating advice
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