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and that your dreams and aspirations have been realized. That's a very rare thing. Anyway, when I say I don't feel for a minute that the thrill is gone I mean I am not thinking there needs to be a nonstop thrill. But I tell you that I have never ever had a doubt of what might have been with someone. Perhaps you are someone to over think things. All I can tell you is that when I was married to perfectly nice, wonderful husband #1, I did stop and think, is this all there is. With husband #2? Never. We were excited and always had plans and goals we were working toward. (even now!) You asked me how I've kept our marriage in polished form and I'd have to say, having those shared dreams and plans have been a big part of it. Do you guys have plans and goals? Are you on the same? I've found that working together to achieve the life we want has kept things fresh and exciting. I just worry that the fact that you're not simply wildly giddy in this and this in your relationship signals a problem that is underscored by your bringing it to an internet forum to discuss .. again, I wish you only the best. Just trying to pass on a little hard won wisdom and insight. straight female looking to make straight female friendsThe drift from being "in -" to "-" is all around us it is woven into our fabric. The same can be said for the auto = us males were in with the auto at age 18, but by age 80 it has become a utility. It's one we need and appreciate, it it no longer defines our ego. Same can be said for the shift from being a of ones parents to being and adult. To become an adult is exciting we were in with the dynamics breaking new ground expanding the ego seeking our fortune etc but by 80 those things that were important to us at 18 or 28 or 48 simply do not apply any longer. I think our mating is like all the other things. At first it is unique, interesting, exciting, and new. It's not that they wear out or lose status with us, it's simply our needs change over time. We change. We don't look the same, feel the same, think the same, etc. We have become what was needed and the natural sequence = we have become an institution! We still each other, but we cannot support the kind of thrill or "assigned" importance that the mating had at the start line. We don't have the same energy levels, "health, education, and welfare" have replaced High Romance with its short vision. When we were, it was like the world revolved around us and by the time we are senior citizens it is like we revolve around the world = it is the flip/flop of importance and meaning = and it is. We would be foolish to be childish at age 75. Those who think we have "lost" spark and enthusiasm are both right and wrong = we have changed = we can't be High School till we die, it simply wouldn't work for us. Which is to say, we cannot keep being "in -" as a driving force anymore than we can keep as a driving force. We still, it's just different which isn't the same as "worn out" or "lost", it's simply how life unfolds. Enjoy it. couple seeking woman
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