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I like your posts. I why some people are upset, but I also your excruciating conscientiousness about leaving. I can relate. One thing that worries me though. If I'm reading you correctly, when you think about divorce you imagine leaving the house other assets to your husband. You don’t seem to realize that denying yourself the proper division of assets would be a gargantuan mistake. It’d hurt your more than you know and lead to unpleasant complications later. I URGE you to get informed about the divorce process. Wish I could take you to lunch and go over the division of assets you are entitled to by law. Wish you'd talk to several divorced people about how they handled the interim because you are needlessly stressing yourself by assuming you'd walk with little but your savings the clothes on your back. We're not living in the Middle Ages. You don't have to go to a shelter. You get half the equity in your house. You and your husband's retirement accounts be split down the middle. A sane interim process CAN be arranged. Most divorce lawyers give free phone consults. They can give you ballpark info about all of the above and about the typical custody/- support practices in your county. I truly understand that you're in the middle of a hellish process. But you are making it by harder by remaining fuzzy self-sacrificing about what is rightfully yours. Divorce is about far more than emotions. Learn the facts. Get educated about the whole package. Put the emotional aspects on hold and focus on the practical, financial aspects of divorce NOT from the viewpoint of a martyr, rather from the viewpoint of what the legal system deems FAIR and appropriate. I know you're undecided. Still, I urge you to get informed. The decision be easier when you replace fears with facts. Learning there is a sane way out does NOT mean you have to take it. It's only smart to know the fire exits and how to use a fire extinguisher, even if you never have to use them. You might think about Codependents (CoDa) or AlAnon for codependency issues. Also, there be a Divorce for Dummies book or Nolo Press book worth perusing. Can't tell you often people over/under estimate divorce practicalities. Be SMART! You owe it to your. mature Idaho Falls Idaho women for no strings sexis all there is to go on. support is based on an ideal of rightness It is right for both parents to support their. So we create support laws. It is right for a disabled person to receive a safty net, so we create disability insurance. It is right for a disabled person to receive back pay to the date of disability. It is right for support to only be able to take of anyones income because they need to survive too. ALl of these laws were based on people sitting back and saying this is what is right this is what is right and creating laws that protected the RIGHT. Now the support division comes in and ignores those laws that were based on rightness to put a little bit more money in MY pocket book. That make ME just as guilty. I don't like being guilty. $3, isn't enough to buy my integrity. The right thing has to be the right thing for everyone. So the support division set our hearings on the same day. I am not going to keep my mouth shut at my hearing just so she can get more money and I can turn around and give my portion back. Deal with it. She hate me just as much, if not more than you do. I am now feeling more at peace with that. So thank you for saying the stuff she be thinking to me. She is allowed to be upset if my feelings and thoughts affect her case. But, it is still the right thing to do. I still say what I feel I have to say. I have never been in a situation where doing the wrong thing was SO MUCH EASIER than doing the right thing before. I knew I was going to look like a weakling. I hate looking like a weakling but I prefer it to saying nothing and feeling like a weakling. deserve our protection, weak and disabled people deserve our protection too. "A -'s character is determined by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." "- thy neighbor as thyself." "In law a is guilty when he violates the rights of others, in ethics he is guilty if he merely thinks of doing so." "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." I had these type of sayings up in my house growing up I have these type of sayings up in my house now for my daughter to read. Seems a hypocritical not to apply them to my life and decisions. sex teen
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