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looking for deeper connection just recently begun mental exploring my own capacity for dominance recently. So honestly I don't know. I think it is a persona that take a little while to give birth to itself, and is still very much in it's infancy. I've engaged in a lot of top/bottom stuff in the past but it was never in a D/s context only in a kink exchange. Two people getting off on each other getting off, no power exchange just trading positions in hedonism. I'm not sure that I would focus or specialize on healing past traumas mostly because I'm not the type creature that concentrates on the past. If, in manipulating insecurities and past traumas, we discover positive growth that would be good side effect, but not necessarily something that I sought from the beginning.
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but don't know if it's the right thing to do. A little background .we've been together for 10 yrs and have 6 between us. I have one from a previous relationship, he has 2. We have 2, and I have a 1 month old from when we split up, and my birth control failed. Yes, a little soap ish. Which is why I don't know what to do about my marriage. When we first got together, I was attracted to him because of what a great dad he was to his boys. We got pregnant early into our relationship, like 6 months. He cheated on me when I was 6 months pregnant with our. We stuck together though. Things went as you would think after infidelity. Lack of trust. About 4 yrs later, here comes girl. Things are getting worse for us. He is drinking more and I am getting bitchier and more or less sick of our relationship. He is withdrawing more and more. And starts drinking heavily. Of course there were good times, or we wouldn't have lasted as as we did. But we split up at least 4 times. This last break up was what I thought was the last time. I got pregnant while on birth control and my mom offered me a place to start new. I jumped, without thinking too far into it. Well 2 months after the move, I moved back. My ex and I discussed getting back together when I came back. Ha! He had a girlfriend when I got back. I made him leave her and we are back together. But he continues to "check out". He drinks heavily and either ignores us completely, or yells at us for random stupid reasons. He works full time, but refuses to help out around the house. Lost his licence and has no plans on getting it back. I feel like I do everything but work, and I try to tell him these things, but he takes it as an attack, and that I'm just hormonal. I think about leaving daily, try to make plans on how to make it without him financially. And daily I wondeerr if we really can make it work. He does have his moments where he participates in our family. It only lasts about a week though. Then back to checking out. I just don't know what to do. Can I keep this up? Is it worth it to stay together? Would it be better for my if we split up? I'm lost. I talk to my mom about it, and she says only I know what to do. But I really don't. shari davenport minnesota swinger
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