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My wife cheated on me. I haven't said anything to her; I found out this morning. I snooped, as I did a couple years ago, just before we were married. She said she'd never do it again, without ever really admitting to "it" at all. On the day before our marriage, her old affair partner answered my question confirmed that she'd lied about meeting with him several times, on trips and outdoor ventures. We both promised that it was a new start. It felt so, so good. Not so ago I admitted it was me that I didn't feel like I could trust her. I could how that hurt her Like she wanted me to trust her, so she could trust herself. I still her I think. I'm afraid she'll never get over this thing of hers. I am not sure she really feels like she's doing anything wrong. Some brand of what she s feminism, that: where she seems to believe sex can be meaningless or only physical with one person, and intimate with the one you. I'm thinking about divorce. I moved here for her. I have no future here. I thought we were happy (I really did), and I think we might have been, but now I want to move away somewhere, maybe back to my home state, maybe to somewhere I've always wanted to go, Portland, or Hawaii. Even if it is running away. But I'm not sure I want to even admit I know what happened. Plus (here's the killer), it's not hard evidence. It's reams of and innuendos, and references to time together in a hotel room. That it could have been just drinks-between-friends is very possible, and I would be so in the wrong, hurting her. I am not good at hiding it when I'm this upset. But if I'm wrong, then what? Then just apologize and she forgives me (as she has for so things)? Thought about contacting the "other guy," but he seems too slick to 'fess to anything, and I really don't want to open that book. I have been lied to every time by my girlfriend, then my fiancee, then my wife, when she was asked. She has several times refused to consider couples therapy. I have no friends that aren't hers as well, in town. I guess that's why I'm dumping all of this here. At least talking/writing about it might stop me from doing something stupid and irreversible. Any thoughts out there? wanted a black manHow to make friends < flyingdogs > in your local queer community: Try going to a community center there where you can volunteer. Try going to to look for queer-friendly groups. There are dinner meetups, bowling groups, book groups, hiking trips, all kinds of organized activities. It might take you a year or more before you find some really great friends, but it's an investment :) Get involved in your annual pride parade too! (If there is one in your area) Volunteer at a women's shelter/center. Take some women's studies classes. Get out there, do something that interests you, be yourself, and you'll make friends. sex with older woman
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