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Dear Foxy: Riding the Q from Brighton Beach, there you were, on the opposite bench, surprisingly youthful and confident, but it was YOU alright. I am crying, still, now, as I write this, as I was so sure that I would never, ever you again. And there you were, on a rainy Monday evening…happy, whole.. All the things you were not or, rather really WERE, but that you just couldn't, blinded by life as you were. It was as if tonight I got to with my eyes what I always saw with my heart—YOU as a whole, not a full of holes… YOU under the mask you had to wear. Do remember, back in the day? everything is so different now. Cooper Union, the Day of Desperation, the camraderie despite the gloom, a pale glow now. I never, EVER, imagined I’d feel nostalgic for those days, and I certainly never entertained the thought I’d still be here, all these years later. And still alone. How was it possible that we found that happiness then, you were my first real friend, before we fell in and then, broke apart again. By accepting me for who I was, you taught me to accept myself. It always anguished me to know that you never learned to yourself the same way. I know I won't you on the other side, you always said that, in the end, you were so tired, you wouldn't be joining us in the afterlife, as you needed your rest after hard traveling the road you found here in this life. I know you won’t be reading this, but I needed to say hello, to say to someone: I still my friend, to say I am unspeakably grateful to have known you, and that you let me your ghost one time again. I KNOW it was you who fleshed out that boy’s body…then dissolved again into the dusk on Dekalb Avenue. I had to fight the need to speak to you—that poor kid would have rightly though I was crackers but that would have dispersed the spell, and although I didn’t know it, I needed to you again. I you know how much I still you all the time. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. Sometimes it is full of sadness and sorrow, mostly gratitude because even then WE KNEW how lucky we were to have found each other. Always, YOURS, even when I’m not… webcam dating in Old Appleton Missouri
more intimate and emotional with some one, rather than just physical the ghost of boyfriends' past won't be so looming when you get down to the physical parts. I think you jumped into the physical stuff too with this guy, try to slow thing down and build the other aspects for a while. if that doesn't help. Mendocino rocks BTW, make the most of it! mutually gratifying sex and friendship1-TV, no CATV,I like Cold Case,CSI Miama and I watch Ghost Whisperer. Lame show but it sometimes make me think of someone that I. 2- Not a fan but she doesnt 3-Drink, Ice coffee, then cold beer. I drink tea in the 4-Chips over popcorn, but I don't re when I had either. I like salty chips w/a tunafish sandwich. otherwise I can eat one and forget about it. computer dating
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