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logged me out. Too exhausting to write it again. Only briefly: We don't know the details but how do we know when her mind changes from pouring out her anguish to cheating emotionally and then physiy? 10 months? If she was pouring out her pain for 9 months to a caring ear and then emotional cheating for 3 weeks and 1 week of the physical act. Where do we draw the line of what is forgivable and when we do not forgive? Even murderers rationalize their actions! We it here all the time. We don't know the details and we can not read minds and even if we could where do we draw the line in judgement? (Yes no matter what they must own up to their actions -only because I guess I must put it in print) I am only saying let us not put so much focus on the but how do we resolve the problem and mend the marriage. To continue to put all your focus on the act is to seek retribution.. The are the ultimate losers in this whole thing and end up raising more dysfunctional. I read this book that followed the lives of hundreds of. Even the ones that looked very successful in their careers carried scars in of their relationships sad! hot Valmeinier girls who fuckpartners, not in a marriage you negotiate everything, you print out reports to compare them, you've made the relationship devoid of feeling why would you make such a judgement about the amount of money spent on the dog? if the dog is sick, is she supposed to check the budget before getting treatment? if the dog needs some holistic supplement to improve it's quality of life, do it only get that improvement if her are met for the month? if she's spent her dog allowance and the dog gets an infection that can only be cured with a $ antibiotic or it die, does it die because she's over budget? she can only get another dog if it meets with your spending plan? did you ever think with your heart and understand that another dog might make it easier to let go of the old one when it's time? would you make the same decisions if it were your? I'm guessing that in a relationship devoid of this is her. And you're putting dollar limits on it. she's frugal in other areas to compensate for this, it isn't like she's spending wildly with no consideration at all. the car go get a car. if it makes financial sense to get a newer one because of the repairs, do it. but now because of the groundwork that you have put down, you have to financially justify your purchase instead of simply saying it would make me happy to do this. you're having to live under the rules you've made. stop keeping score. just stop it. stop with the financial reports. in a marriage working towards a common goal, this should be something the two of you use together to work towards that goal, not a tool to point out her inadequacies. you ARE throwing it in her face, just in a passive way that lets you convince yourself that you're not. but you are. every day. that's not a relationship, that's a business deal and if you were my husband, I'd fire you looking for group parties
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