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CMR73, You say that you need to be more sensitive to her needs, but as others have pointed out, you seem to know exactly what her needs are and why she has these needs. What you actually need to work on is getting YOUR needs met. The way personal-needs work is that they flare up inconveniently when you try to push them aside. So even though you know she needs quiet time and you want to give it to her, something inside of you is likely begging for fulfillment and bothering you and and your girlfriend in order to get some relief. The most obvious answer is that you need someone to talk to. It or not be that simple. I'm guessing that if she is at all nice to be around, she is willing to listen to you to some extent. If you aren't actually rambling and it is only how she sees it, that is another problem entirely. But if you are continuing to ramble on, it be that the nervous energy you feel that is pushing you to ramble is actually asking for something different. It could be anything- exercise, sex, a creative project, a good cry, intellectual stimulation, a warm bath, only you can find out. Here are a couple experiments you can use to explore what some of your unmet needs are. When you're at work, notice how you feel and how it is different from when you are with your girlfriend. Notice how you feel at different times of the day. Notice how your body tells you that you need someone to talk to (or whatever that need might be).. tight shoulders? shortened breath? certain thoughts or images? tapping finger? Does the need increase throughout the day? Does it only happen when you get home? Is it always there? What can you do for yourself that doesn't push away the need, but quenches it? Second, when you get home and the rambling starts, allow it for a second then stop midway and ask yourself: What would make me feel completely fulfilled right now? Is talking relentlessly fulfilling or only allowing you to escape the need to be fulfilled? However you go about exploring your needs, do it. They won't go away any other way. It's not being selfish. Sometimes the best way to take care of someone you is to take care of yourself. Otherwise you drive you and her crazy at the same time. Best of luck mature cougar interracial dating in hawaiiThis is to those who felt the need to respond unkindly to this thread. This woman is looking for advice from other women and you attack her. You bitch about not being able to get married, well how the hell is that supposed to happen when you alienate our allies. Yes, the majority of the women who go through the W4W postings and threads are probably on the queerer side of the spectrum, but it is a spectrum regardless, and we are all women. You are all being just as divisive as the conservative right and you are enforcing their labels and stereotypes. Show a little empathy. You want equality, then treat others as though they are your equals, because they are. It's not fair that we have to fight for our rights, but that's how it is, and unity is the only way to win the battle. Frustrated girly girl- I think that a lot of the women that come on this site are looking for something more than sex. There is also a lot of bi-phobia (for lack of a better term) among women, I'll admit to it myself. I encourage you to keep posting as as you are looking. Emphasize your curiosity, and downplay the strict heterosexuality because if you are here looking for a woman to sleep with, you are probably not straight. women seeking
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