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Can I be in this relationship without fully expressing and exploring my sexual desires? this drive for kink and downright fucking be something I can make peace with when it has ALWAYS been present in my life? When the weight of his world be so great that I do not arouse him anymore at all? Can that happen? I know it can for women so why not men? Our time together is one of the truest expressions of my feelings for him what if that goes away? And damnit I am (36)! Am I selfish to want this so? So any feedback. Any advice from older gents. And yes he is on Cialis but also a High Blood Pressure med. Never in a million years would I dream of being with another while with him so getting kink somewhere IS NOT an option. In a round about way it is about kink so no haters, please. just need a really fem friendI am a mother of 3 with an extremely (emotionally and verbally)abusive,controlling has ed me the worst of things throughout our marriage and has even refused to get medical attention for me when I couldn't get it for myself. A little insight to that situation;I fell on our patio at 3 am about 17 months ago trying to get his dog to come back after he took off before I could get him on his went out after him and slipped on ice flipping backward landing on the back of my am unsure if I ever lost consciousness. When I got up and crawled into the house, I could not a thing, my vision was was so dizzy I could barely crawl on my hands and knees without falling over. I finally made it back into the house screaming for my husband. He layed in bed upstairs yelling at me to shut the F up and just go to sleep because he had to be to work at 7 am. After a few minutes he finally decided to get out of bed. I was in the middle of our living room floor vomitting and falling into it face first for lack of balance. I have no idea how the exchange lasted of me begging for help and him saying shut the F up, stop over reacting.(To be clear I do not overdramatize injury or pain.)it felt like hours of him just verbally beating the crap out of me for getting hurt. In reality I am sure it was only minutes. My vision started to come back, things were still blurry but it was then I saw that he never even came all the way down the stairs. Here was his wife, the one he swore to honor and, laying face first,completely helpless in her own vomit and he didn't even come all the way down the stairs? I was helpless, couldn't think straight or straight for that matter. To add insult to injury (literally) when he returned from work that day I was laying on the couch STILL vomitting STILL unable to clearly. I told him I needed to go to the ER. His response, Oh you're still milking that huh? He finally drove me. It was that night I decided I didn't want to be here anymore and didn't want to be with him anymore. I should have left circumstances were no different then than they are today. The verbal is ongoing with an occasional feel so weak that I am not even sure I can make it on my have no way out and I don't even know where to there any services out there for someone that just needs out wants for a strong dominant lady
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