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Sooooo, on a lighter note, when I was in Tx for the holiday, someone started a game after Thanksgiving dinner where we had to tell everyone our most embarrassing story. Okay, so it was totally like middle school. We all still ended up laughing our asses off. So, anyone have a fabulously embarrassing story to share? _________________________________ A few years back I applied for a security job, and as part of the job I had to have a background check, polygraph test, etc. etc. I'm sitting in the room with a woman and guy who I think were from the CIA, and they're asking me all sorts of stupid, ridiculous questions about and terrorists and everything they can possibly think of. "Have you ever done?" No. "Have you ever raped anyone?" No. "Have you ever had contact with a foreign embassy?" No. Giggle. "What was that? Why did you giggle? Why did you giggle? " Despite all my protestations that it was really nothing, I eventually had to tell these two folks from the CIA, "Well, okay, once I made out in an alley against the back wall of the Argentinian embassy for two hours. Are you happy? Is that really what you wanted to hear?" very bi blonde looking for fall adventures and activitiesAfter I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart: Dear Mrs. Samsel, We cannot tolerate your husbands behavior any longer and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.' 5. 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of MM's on layaway. 6. 14: Moved a 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 8. 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his '- look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18 : Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21 : When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least . 15. October 23 : Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here. live chat online
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