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Hi everyone, I am posting in this forum to go. I have a problem and i just have no one to talk to. I am depressed and i have talked to my husband and family and friens and my doctor. i've been getting treatment (40mgPaxil) for a few months and i think it has helped. at least now i can get out of bed and shower. when my depression was bad i quit my job. i made up a bogus excuse and ended up being able to go on EI (canadian unemplyment insurance) but now it is running out. My EI claim was fraudulent i guess, because you have to swear to be willing and capable of working . and i'm not. I suffer from IBS and panic attacks and i have gotten really good at playing like i am happy. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leavve the house, nevermind go and find a job. i burned my brides with my longtime employer because i was desperate to just go home and sleep foever. unfortunatly i can't sleep forever unless im dead and i can't be dead because my parents and husband me. i don't know what to do. i don't know how we are going to pay our bills without my income. the government would charge me with fraud for sure if they knew that i was really home becuase of being unwell, and that i have barely been looking at jobs. i almost wish i was deeply depressed like i was a few months ago so i wouldn't be stressed out. just numb instead. now i cry. then i slept. i wish i could sleep forever. but i my family and my husband needs me to be strong and happy for him. and he need me to bring in money or we'll get evicted. I don't know what kind of help i'm looking for but i feel like i need to be rescued. I feel like i would rather lose everything than have to face getting a job and going back out into the world. mature woman Gramat
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