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Before 4 years ago, we dated for 3 years and lived together with her older sister for awhile and then just the two of us for awhile, then we got engaged and a year and a half later, married. We both worked full-time jobs and went to school half-time. But at that time our schedules got really crazy during and fall semesters since she was transferring from Comm College to university and closer to graduating. I wanted to chalk up our growing distance to our hectic schedules and responsibilities. Nevertheless, I considered that but I still wanted to address the growing distance with her. She gets very defensive when I bring it up, and usually pushed us a little further apart. I feel I am an excellent communicator and she struggles with it, in fact I think it almost pisses her off that even when she verbally attacks me I keep my adult composure instead of lashing out as she does at times. So she just graduated this last Dec. and right before her graduation we had gone about 4 months without being intimate or affectionate in any capacity, needless to say I felt I was being completely ignored, I truly felt that day in and day out, she was more excited, affectionate, and passionate with our dogs than with me, I much gave up and I moved in with her sister for a week to assess the situation elsewhere. She told me she wanted me to come back home and that was the first step to fixing the dilema we faced. So I did. Every day, I wake up, and I wonder how much longer I have to starve. What is tough to hear after all of this, is that I need to do more, it is still something I am not doing that is causing her behavior . i feel more like, if she has no want to make me happy, or it doesn't make her happy to make me happy, or if she -'s that i am depressed and just yearn to connect with her and feel close to her but she does nothing about it, she just minds her own business and lets me suffer . prettyboi for doll girliesthat he plans to be out of there, at least by the time the are 18 but don't be too astounded if a girlfriend puts pressure on him and he walks out sooner. I'd certainly not let him touch me sexually without condoms at this point. In a way it is good because you can get your most favorable ducks in a row for a new life, and in fact, from now on you should be planning on that contingency in case he walks out sooner. If he stays until they are grown and perhaps the marriage survives, good. In my first marriage of 8 years, we kept falling in and out of with each other (he died). If he leaves, you and the survive and thrive. Read this forum about "getting ducks in a row" or other pre-divorce info and follow through ASAP. Having worked for divorce attorneys in the past, I can say that you need to be saving up money for the retainer (in CA, at least $ ). You need to start getting his personal information (social sec number, pay stubs or two, business/trade license info, anything on his accounts, phones) and start putting some tangible assets away in storage or with family ("Oh, I don't know where the xxx is, I thought you had it"). Start socking away any monies you can get away with. This is to make sure you and your are not left high and dry. If you read this forum, you know how men feel about having to pay any support to take care of their. You've seen the term "kid owner" tossed around, and although that fits some, mostly its thrown at women who are having trouble with deadbeats. You need to get your education now if needed, have day care lined up, all the things most favorable to yourself and your. He doesn't care about your feelings nor really your -' feelings, so although this means,avoid arguing because now it's time for you to be cold, rational and polite at all times in your dealings with him, as with any serious adversary. Also, start to develop a good social life outside of the marriage, not with sex but developing a network of support. Some men feel that they are screwed with custody, but often, they seem to act like they don't have any once the marriage is over, so without saying anything about your marriage, maybe get your dad and brothers involved in their lives a little more. In the run, the only revenge is living well. Good luck. lonely girl
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