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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. Ketchikan Alaska free sex chatyou as a parent must have seen signs of how he has been acting from day one. From what I have read it depends on the and how it was handled by the parents -but yes it can be from the divorce. try to hide the hurt from the parents, in their way they are trying to protect the parent(s). Some even believe they were the cause of the divorce. Also you say the father has remarried with 3. When he is there he not feel that he belongs -the 3 belong there but he is only a visitor without any real connection -in his mind. It does not matter what you say to him it has to come from actions when he is there -so much time has elapsed. The father be -my goodness with 3 new not have the time to spend with his/your -! He not even realize exactly what it is, only that there is something missing. Not much detail provided but from my own reading on the subject, it does have a profound effect on their minds. Remember from their point of view all that they knew of the world came from the both of you -that world in a blink of an eye was turned upside down. That is why of divorce turn away from religion. If the whole world- "their parents" -that they trusted and believed in is no longer true how can they have in a God they can not. Interviews on of divorce who now have themselves -who from all outward appearances are success stories have spoken of feelings buried deep in them that stem from their parents' divorce. So the answer to your short question is -it is possible! The only question is to what degree they are affected. Some studies have show that from unhappy marriages faired better than most of divorce. EXCEPT those that were involved in physical situation. don't get me wrong, I don't know you and I make no judgements I am responding to your post for the sake of your. No guilt or blame should be taken or given, just move forward the best you can and keep giving him he needs to be reminded of that fact in actions and words. But every situation is different and there be other factors at work. Good luck I feel for you -I have ones also -it worries me but that is good since it keeps me on the high road in all my dealing with all those involved. dating lady
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