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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. awesome guy seeking my other half
honest about the fact that you have exhibited controlling behavior as this helps to understand why she would need to set such a clear boundary, especially concerning. To hear you exclaim you "should be a close 2nd, all the time!" shows that controlling behavior very clearly. Can you recognize this? It might help you to get some counseling to clarify where your control issues stem from and how to manage them more effectively. It is easy to get stuck in our behavior and not "-" it clearly. We need others to help us it. black mumma bbw for Summit Kentucky guyWhats the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating? Your ears. Thats because masturbation is the ultimate kink. The gloves so-to-speak come off. Anything goes. Its just you, some filthy muck video and the recesses of your mind. It is the ultimate kink. If it wasnt you wouldnt hardly give a fuck who walked in as you whacked off. It is you, your wrist, porn and your stem Thats whats so fascinating and theres a multi billion dollar industry built arround it. So I really dont think its just me! grany wants man
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