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hello i am ebony (Sorry a bit -) A few months back I joined a queer book club as a way to get to know people in London (having recently moved here). On my second meeting, one of the guys asked me if I had time for coffee. Didn't think anything of it and went along. We talked about all kinds of stuff and I mentioned I was seeing someone who lives in SF, etc. He informed me that he was a closeted married and had. Ok. Then, after coffee, when we were leaving, he hugged me and told me I had beautiful eyes Total non-sequitur (for me at least) because I didn't think that our little outing had any signs of attraction from either end. Then, I thought to myself, maybe he was just being nice. The next day, I get this in which he asks me if I'd like to get a bite to eat later in the week. I don't reply right away, but eventually say yes out of politeness but never actually meet him because we both end up being busy. My partner in SF is convinced the guy is hitting on me though I say I just think he's lonely. I was also put at ease when he suggested we could just meet up at the next book club meeting which meant to me that he wasn't dying to me and that surely he was just lonely and wanted company. Tonight, after our book club meeting when almost everyone's left, he asks me very conspiratorially whether I'd like to go to coffee. I said sure but turned to another person who was still there and asked if he'd like to join so that this dude would that this was not meant to be a date. The other guy couldn't join so we went to coffee together and once again talked about all and sundry nothing romantic, sexual, etc, and I mentioned my SF partner repeatedly. Anyway, we parted ways and I just got home, and received the following text -: I enjoyed your company this evening. You are so beautiful! Would you like to meet next week? Yikes! I don't know what to do. Even though I am in an open relationship, I am not interested in dating this guy but he is a genuinely nice person and I don't mind hanging out with him but definitely don't want him to get the wrong idea. Do I just make up excuses to not him or go out but make sure things stay platonic or be forthright and say "- you don't take this the wrong way but I want to make sure you understand this is not a date"? What do you think?
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