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I feel it is a very valuable topic for me personally. I almost made a TP reframing the question (but it looks like the thread is not a total loss after all!) because it is suddenly REALLY important for me to appreciate what the D types deal with. We never hear about it because they must be strong/confident/in control. I am very driven to try to understand his own struggles the "other side of the fence" if you. I think it makes my submission a bit deeper, and maybe a bit more meaningful on a personal level. He is making sacrifices too, kwim? long term friends fwbattachment parenting concepts with that of a neurotic personality. listen to the op, he is blaming the, as if the can be something it is not. only an adult can off such a feat with the unintended and unwanted side consequences (side effects). the information we are receiving is from a highly biased source. his situation is not an uncommon one and my hopes was that i could give him what he needed not what he wanted or what he believes he needs. before any of flash's advice can be of any use, the op as well as the spouse must be in the right mind set. without this, flash is only leading them to the trough. counseling for this op (don't know about the spouse) only be an endeavor of validation but this only lead to stonewalling on the part of this op in the end. he is so typical in his actions, that they are so predictable. 3 minute dating
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