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ca65 Demarest New Jersey mature looking blackwho is giving you negative ratings. You have a tremendous amount of insight and have read quite clearly between the lines. I didn't want to air all of the relationship dirty laundry right away, because I kinda wanted to get a sense how much of a strain I put on the relationship and what of our issues I should feel responsible for. There are definitely some good and valid points in defense of his point of view, and I needed to hear them from someone besides him. But yeah, its deeper than I've briefly summarized. I like honesty, even if it's brutal and I believe we should be with people we trust. He accepted it when I told him I would no longer talk to my ex, but I think he had his doubts about me at that point. Rather than confronting them or leaving me, some months later he cheated on me. With one of his ex's, no less. She emailed him out of the blue and you know how the story ends. (There's a BIG difference to me between an ex who is a regular, loyal friend, and those who /- out of the blue. I don't categorize them as being in your circle of friends, even if theres no bad blood. I get those s too, and I politely tell them that I'm in a relationship, you next lifetime) Up until he cheated, he was always jealous of something looking at that too hard, why are my jeans so tight?, I'm too friendly with guys, etc. I know now that was him projecting his thoughts onto me. FYI, Im a really tomboyish girl, gym shoes and jeans, and I don't own a shirt that shows cleavage. By most people's standards, I'm modest for a ish attractive woman. SO was definitely insecure before he got to me. I don't feel that is the path to a relationship. yes, this issue be the straw that caused our relationship to end. He hasnt had serious relationships, but I thought our friendship was the ultimate basis for a good relationship, so I tried to understand and forgive he begged for another, proposed and all (of course with no ring) I said I need time to trust him again. He has been inconsistent since. As I said in another post, talking to my ex/friend is not revenge but a matter of, "Why should I be bending to YOUR wishes and you're not even honest with me?" I know this might not be the right thing to do for our relationship. I want him to go to therapy with me but he wont swinger parties
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