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advice m4w I have been married for 12 years and I am clearly at a crossroads. About a year into may marriage I was out at a work function and a coworker (woman maybe 30 at the time) was talking about how after 6 years of marriage the spark was gone. She said she still loved her husband but the sexual energy was missing. Another slightly older male coworker agreed with her.
I now fund myself in this situation. Granted we have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I do my part with the marriage and the kids. I am the one who does the cooking as well as the exterior house work and some other inside work. I work full time. That being said I have tried every way to spice things up. Before I go further I do compliment her with no interest in getting something in return. Ok, back to the spice part..I have tried renting steamy movies, buying butually "pleasing" toys, tried new things in the bed. They have ALL been shot down. Occasionally she opens up a little like she is doing me a favor or, as she says, "I am trying see".
So I amdit that I am very frustrated in my marriage from a sex standpoint. I love my wife and my life but I need more from her and she is unwilling or incapable of giving me what I want. I give her everything she needs and wants. I ask her if I am unsure so I know ALL her needs are met.
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singl woman Moriarty You mention an 18 year old, I'm assuming there are also younger involved. My ex had two and I went through all of it dealing with their mother. Eventually I had to step back from the details of their interaction. They are the mother and father of these, they have to make their own decisions. You've taken on a lot of baggage and it won't end until the last one is grown up and support is over even then she still be in their lives. Adults things are between adults. You the and show them that, but if it comes down to issues between mom and dad, you just need to tell them you them but their mom and dad have to work things like that out. Otherwise your life be consumed with their drama and trust me, your marriage won't survive. I did a lot of fighting on behalf of my stepchildren to provide them with the first stable home life they had in years and to show them what a normal life was like. You can do all of this without getting involved in things like support and a backpack. And as far as "paying for meals", ask the 18 year old how he would like to deal with it. Maybe he wants to show up with a grocery bag of food for the weekend. Maybe the easy way out is to give him $20 to run to McDs for every meal. Ask him what he thinks it would take for this to not be a problem for him. Ironiy after my ex and I split, the mother decided to take my advice and go into counseling. No for dad, he chose his path and it didn't include his. Continuing to fight with her was more important than what was best for the. But she did come out of it with a healthier way of dealing with the, their disappointments and their relationship with their father. I would say that if any of this influences their attitude or school, family counseling on your side is in order. Bottom line, you are on the sidelines of this and the two of them have to choose how they are going to deal with the and each other. It isn't your fight. If you can your husband and your stepchildren and put the rest of that stuff out of your mind, support them without taking sides, and just them it be enough. Or as in my case, it not be. hot Niantic women
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