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Meet for a drink or dinner first. Then maybe go out on dates together. (non sexual ones) It's probably the best course of action right now. As far as your jealousy is concerned, you and your wife need to discuss that before anything happens at all. She hid them from you, which is a breach of trust. Ask her why she felt the need to keep them from you. You guys need to be open and honest with each other about that, about why you're thinking of opening at the very least your sexual relationship up. I recommend a book ed "Opening Up" by Taormino. It discusses the pros and cons of opening your relationship/marriage. It also has passages from people the authors interviewed, so it's steeped in the realistic and not just the hypothetical. There are also writing exercises, communication exercises, etc. It's well written and not as wishy washy as some open relationship books out there. Good luck. bowtie breakfast friend 42 Alliston 42There are groups that you can attend to enlighten how your own actions unknowingly contribute to the dynamics of your relationship. The bottom line is your still needs constant supervision, right? You work two jobs so she has been the main caregiver of your, right? Hard to sway the court in your favor, since the verbal is most likely isolated to you and her. Sounds more like the problem is not her so much as communication and self respect for one another has slowly been eroding over the years. The added stress of your just makes things that much more stressful. Sad you have made up your mind and are just rationalizing your course of action. You have no of improving things if your thoughts are only for divorce as you have convinced yourself. I fortunately don't have the added burden of a special needs, thank God, but I think you need to seek counseling for yourself because you are a co-dependent in this situation. amateurs swingers
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