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I did appreciate his big achievements. He did not work to make me happy, he worked that hard to fulfill something within him. What I wanted was someone who could respect what I brought to the table as well. And he couldn't. I didn't want someone who could 'discuss feelings for hours' but someone who felt comfortable not trying so hard to impress with his financial prowess. If we went to concert, for him nothing was good enough unless it was front row. He was miserable if he couldn't get those front row seats, while second row or 22nd row was fine. You say if 'he can't make me happy' odd, because I was happy for the most part, I just didn't feel that indulging in every extravagance that he offered was who I was, or necessarily the right thing to do. Have you even had dinner at someone's house, and feel satiated at the end, and the host or hostess continues to offer you another helping, another helping of that, a little more dessert, another cocktail, despite you assuring them that you are fine, you are happy, you don't need anything more but for them to sit down and enjoy the company they've put together. 20 year old blonde waitress at firesideI agree with 'stachemeister in that the forms of objectification that appeal to me are be using as a footstool or end table as my partner decompresses at the end of the day quietly getting him off as he reads the paper or being instructed how to get him off as he cooks. Being a tool to help him shed the vestiges of a day and sink into the a quiet and relaxing night. If he can't sleep, providing the means to tire him out. Basiy being a fucktoy or tool to bring about his pleasure. I also get off hard on being forced to maintain the focus of pleasing him while he is groping and molesting me to assume that he's not touching me to please me but to please himself (and that I MUST NOT get off). To me objectification is the shedding of self to bring about comfort to him. It passes the point of doing it for him because he express pleasure in you it's doing it because it brings about his comfort without him ever feeling he even need acknowledge you. Sometimes I've imagined objectification in the form of being used as a game board or a chess table (with the grid painted on my back) for a gathering of his friends Yeah it is all about being brave for me too, trusting someone to do things with and to me that strike me as exceedingly uncomfortable. And then the occasional 'good girl' for the bravery :). And privately being held in a sort of cherished status by him for being brave and shucking self for overcoming fear. Being ed names like 'little fuckpuppet' and 'fucktoy' and being meticulously instructed on how to please him is objectification to me too. married men looking for women
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