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I am a woman in my 40s. Brace yourself! (-: I have dated a lot. I mean I have had short term dates or relationship and one term in my 20s. My biggest flaw was I avoided conflicts and always seemed to leave a relationship at the first fight. I am a slow learner because I recently learned that I was the problem not the men; even though at the time of a break up, I was quite clear the issue was with the men. I never got married but always wanted to find true and get married and have a family. However, it is clear I was sabotaging myself and did not even know it. Now, I grew up a very violent household. My mother was a raging bully. I made peace with this. I am currently strained from my parents. But my thoughts of them are at peace. I am no longer angry at them nor do I really focus on my childhood. I am usually very grateful and have bubbly personality. When I realized I was averse to conflict, it was like an epiphany! Now, I am not saying I am perfect but I am work in progress and heading the right direction. Interestingly enough, I am also dating men that seem to resonate with my new found energy. I am meeting a lot of men in their 40s, educated, attractive, own houses/condo, and seem social but without and mostly never married or married very short time time ago. I cannot find men around my age with who want a term relationship or they do not find me. I am getting quite depressed about this because I do not trust those single guys would never want. I could have too but it would be rushing the relationship to another level without much of “getting to know each other”. I am 42 now! I am more focused on finding term than having but I am not opposed to having or adopting at all. I need some assurances on why would these men were never married in the first place or had families and how often do they really change to get married or have? None of these guys are opposed to having, if they were, then it would have made sense to me why they do not have. looking to hookup or anything else reallyhad the experience of realizing I have never been so happy in all my life as I have been since I settled into being alone. I thought to myself the other day: "Whoever comes along is going to have to be AWESOME to talk me out of this " It's a move in the right direction; just seeking a nice comfortable balance when the time does come along. :) divorced wants
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