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so this was really interesting. i'm no stranger to the concept of bad patterning and i (perhaps obviously) come from a dysfunctional family. before the last two, the men i dated were wrong in a different way, depressed, needy, dependent. so this guy, and the guy just previous they were choices agains't type. a calculated move that i was hoping would take me in a better direction. i wasn't overwhelmingly attracted to either one initially, they were both friends of friends, things started off slowly (for me). although both of them seemed to be really into me fast. both of them instantly wanted to spend a lot of time with me, and do things that seemed a little premature for me. point being, i'm sure that (for me) that whole seeing a person from across the room and feeling that instant 'zing' is a sign of bad chemistry, best avoided. but somehow, these non-zings, ended up being very similar, and worse, in a way. the controlling, my way or highway, game-y type was never in my rotation before the last few years. so i must be putting out a new vibe or missing some real clues. i need to sit down and think carefully back over every first moment where i think "hmmmm, this is odd" with the last guy. they both ended up being so similar, it's uncanny. guy 1 was totally unavailable, never wanted to talk about emotions or fix problems. that's a no brainer, i should have ran from that sooner. But with guy 2, i spent a lot of time getting to know him before letting it get physical. months. and during this time he went on and on about how into communication he was, talking things out, in retrospect, maybe he was just excellent at telling me what i obviously needed to hear. to make matters more complicated, guy 2 knows guy 1 socially, so he even had his own knowledge of guy 1 to maybe use in his favor..if i want to get that cynical. i think this brings me to a new question and that is this things were great at first. super great rapport, it was like we were the best of friends. then one day, some small conflict happened and he just changed. he started picking fights, making petty comments, refusing to communicate or communicating non-constructively (like, i'd point something out and he'd counter with something i did a week ago- smoke and mirrors). this happened with guy 1 as well we suddenly fell into this mode where (- next post) flash me with your sexy legs
where there's no way for us to answer. It's like my asking you what's wrong with my car because it makes a growling noise sometimes. You don't know make, model, year or under what conditions it makes the noise. And you don't really know what the noise sounds like. There's no way to answer. But . there is someone who DOES have the answer to your question. And all you have to do is ask her 'why'. It might be that she doesn't want to answer that question either, in which case there's probably a trust issue where she doesn't want to answer honestly for whatever reason. sexy chat CalgaryWithers: Less than a week…. Withers By Withers, contributing editor, Blog 3:33pm UTC After next Friday, you not have the privilege of pointing out my grammar mistakes, or wondering about my commitment to “the community.” is closing shop. Never thought it would end this way. Figured I would be replaced by a younger, cuter, smarter scribe who, at the very least, had the brains to think well of Queer as Folk. Or accept the narrative of our complete victim-hood? Dish out all the bogus/racist theories about Prop 8? Was a better editor? If asked, I would say this isn’t the time for a news site to give up the ghost. There’s an election coming up, and the choices couldn’t be any starker. At the most recent Republican debate, “Baby Huey” Santorum was asked a question about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The inquiry came from Hill, serving in. Did the former senator thank the soldier? Wish him God’s speed and safety? Nope. Just blathered something about sex, and stood silent when the soldier got a few cats from the audience. says he didn’t hear those boos. Here’s what you need to know about Boo-Gate and Santorum: even GOProud is mad! What does all of this have to do with going quiet? This is not the time for a news outlet to shut down. Not as the country preps for an election with one party set against anything, and everything, ghey. This is a time for more news and stories. Information and facts are the blood lines for all minorities. I’ll stop. It’s been a good run; am extremely proud of the site, and all the folk I’ve worked with. There be a fuller goodbye sometime next week. By the way, I’m going to be real funky these last few days. Don’t take it personally (smile). matured women and boy
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