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some very difficult issues. Hoping for good advice not bashing I am a 42 year old male, been separated for six months wife and I have had relationship, verbal/mental, infidelity, court intervened., etc We have two ages 2 4, my wife goes back and forth on reconciliation I am taking mood meds, seeing a therapist and also taking Anger management classes I genuinely want to work things out. But she has a lot of anger resentment, and is refusing joint counseling, says all the work is on me, and won't compromise on anything. Often tells me she doesn't care if we get back together or not, but other times tells me we can, and I need to keep doing what I'm doing. In the past few weeks she has gone on a few dates and told the men she saw she was already divorced dating using e site. All the mixed signals and the dating make me think she's done, but I hold out, because I desperately want to make our family whole again Can this marriage be saved, if so how??? looking for Lauro de freitas quiet nice easy going lady- asexual and kinkless, which shifted to radical lesbian feminist separatist and kinkless (you know, where orgasms come from the bliss of imagining a utopia populated by women holding hands and singing near and ferron songs in perfect -), which shifted to lesbian feminist submissive in training (extreme yet extremely desexualized immersion into the world of bdsm; submission and dissociation went hand-in hand, so submission could take on a very performative feel; NB: dissociation went hand-in-hand with all sorts of benign, day-to-day things), which shifted to longterm kinkless and monogamous lesbian relationship, which shifted to immersion in trauma recovery work and celibacy with everyone other than myself, which included a great deal of fantasy work, which then shifted to kinkless sexual exploration with men, which shifted to hardcore and heavily sexual D/s relationship/exploration/experiences with a in which i learned to identify and seek and engage the pursuit/satisfaction of pleasure (idiosyncratiy bundled in physical, metal and emotional terms), and which served to burn away the last lingering effects of trauma that no amount of talk therapy would ever touch, which led to a sense of independence, womanliness, curiosity and sexual agency wherein i am most keenly turned on by the thought of thoroughly kinked up play that falls outside the rubric of D/s power exchange. so. in hypercompressed sum: the thoroughly imbricated, non-causal, ourobourotic relationship between the complete shaking up of the sno-globe of my erotic/sexual orientation/identification/attractions and years of hardcore digging around in the muck of my psyche to eradicate or transmute every last shred of evidence of trauma-born terror. must launch into my day, check back later find sex
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