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I had a problem that I was not proud of ,I was brought up in an abusive house hold and myfather used to beat the sh*t out of me and babied my brother part of the beatings were due to the the other half was from protecting my mother from from my father and swore it would never be allowed in my household she helped me overcome this because I never really new until I met her besides from my mom and I just feel betrayed right now because I feel she culd'nt trust me enough to tell me at the beginning I still would have married her , she says she was brought up that the 1st person she had sex with was the person she should but like the saying goes why buy the cow when the milk is free so I feel that if she just gave the 1st relationship time she would have saw the real abusive person he was that he turned into after she gave herself to feel this is why divorce rate is so high ,people treat sex so casual like no big deal , but I feel its a real intimate connection between2 people not something that is no big deal local moms need cock in Wan MakkenglongI have a funny hate relationship with pain, and have always had "life is pain" and "you have to be hard to survive" pounded into my head, and I think in a broader sense, that plays into my feelings of priding myself on being tough and demanding the same from my partner. I have found that, in the past, when I was in relationships with submissive people who struck me as soft or weak-willed the game just grew boring very quickly. I wanted someone who could take some damage without expressing it too much. Looking back, we were probably just on different wavelengths and had different needs and such, but at the time I viewed these people as unworthy. Now, having read what CeCe said in the thread above about people with superiority complexes covering for their own inferiority has REALLY got me thinking! Hahah. There was a time, too, when I was obsessed with extremity for its own sake, and I needed someone who was willing to go to extremes with me. And anyone who wasn't down for it was a big old pussy. I had to do some seedy things in order to get those so-ed needs fulfilled. That was a dark time. Turns out those people who refused me weren't total pussies, they were just sane! LOL And not willing to do whatever it took to get a piece of tail. ;) Nowadays, although I still that "oh, I how tough you are, toughness is very attractive" thing with me, I am glad to have sacrificed my superiority complex (ahem, somewhat anyway) and to have sacrificed the extremity (I probably always crave it, though) in order to find this deeper, more true connection with someone I can trust %. The family bond ties tightly, and I know our views of each other have changed for the better since becoming a family changed our lives. Ha, you want to talk about rambling wow! Just look at this post. real women
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