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Yep, it can take only one person to totally ruin your live but you did allow that person into your life. I'm not saying it's your "fault" but you are culpable for continuing in this pattern. Let me break it down: Husband, he's a jerk you two divorce and you're stuck (with loans, debt, emotional probs for, crapload of junk, whatever). Now . Boyfriend, still your, he's a jerk and you two break up and you're stuck (with the emotionally trouble of your, crapload of junk, whatever). Where is the pattern? Stop looking for the guy to save you. You gave birth to the and they are your top priority. No more men in the house. Period. You can date when the youngest is in college. You MUST provide your stability and clearly the men aren't helping in that way. Thus, cut them out of the equation. Yes, we all know how difficult it is starting over. We've been divorced! That means starting over, trusting again, leaning on yourself instead of filling the hole with another partner. Lottery? Come on. Is that your first step? No, get another paint brush, and start again. You can do it, we've all done it, you've done it before, just make the change that no is involved this time. You'll never be self sufficient when you're involved with a partner. For you, it just doesn't seem to work. Your good ending be in raising, emotionally stable. That's all of our happy endings. single mom want cockWhile I adore strong women and always have, and while a woman "taking charge" turns me on to no end (actually ONLY strong women turn me on), there really is no concern about being at this point. I am well past the point where anyone can do anything to me. While I still feel in some ways like that small blonde boy, I am not a small and have a tendency to intimidate people without meaning to. This is why I also feel confused because, for example, the one woman I fell totally in with was very strong, dominant, but small and petite so I was not only following her lead and letting her lead me to exciting experiences that I would not have on my own, at the same time I felt extremely protective of her and DID protect her. That's where my confusion between submissive and dominant comes from she was "running the show" and I only wanted to please her but I also felt like her guardian, advisor in those areas she had less experience in, etc. How can I be submissive if I feel no need to be protected by someone, and feel more like a protector? That's what I ask myself. I have actually had women I don't know come on to me very strongly, grab my hand and drag me to their bed BECAUSE they felt that I had been their protector. (stopping abusive men from harassing them in a bar, etc.) I do have some very dominant aspects to my personality. That's why I feel confused. dating after divorce
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