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I know this sounds goofy but it really makes a difference. My DH and I have well made every possible mistake that is possible for 2 very human beings to make and for us we find that if we can at least be polite and courteous, we can find our way back to each other. Lots of times it's hard to remember to be as courteous and considerate to our mates as we are to the stranger in the cubicle across the hall or our -' teacher or almost anyone outside the home. Big mistake. Yes you have issues both ways each of you has some hurts and some wants and some to offer. But it doesn't help if you're each fearful of what the next minute is going to bring. So if you can at least agree to be polite, there be a baseline of trust established. With that agreement, you have a framework to have discussions like how to survive until your first paycheck arrives or when he needs to if he's not coming home or why/when he needs to come home on a given weekend. Buying the house was a joint decision I assume if that's so, it or not have been the best thing to do but you two gotta deal with the realities of this first year together. I know sometimes we've really done some stupid financial things and have just had to agree they were stupid and dig out way out .together. Again, the polite thing. Part of the marriage vows is "honor" and "-" Have found them to be as important or more so than. is a feeling honoring and cherishing are actions. As as you honor and, the usually stays intact. Check out Smalley(sp?) on the topic of honor in marriage he has a really great way of illustrating it. We still blow it from time to time but it keeps making the difference in getting us back on track. You don't have to be a statistic. It really can all be good. Start with agreeing to be courteous. how that goes eventually move to what your goals in being together are keep reading up on things, get counseling or do a marriage weekend. One step at a time. Am so sorry you're hurting it is ok to expect decent treatment no matter what. horny grannies 93128
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