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when he wants to be at Daddy's for a playoff game I make it happen. I do know that when he wants to be at Daddy's because there is going to be a party or a celebration I make it happen. I try to realize that my -'s happiness is so much bigger than my own momentary need to be with him. And though that need can be consuming, I don't, in the end, have a right to expect any sort of reciprocity. I never want to say no to a rational request because of irrational anger toward his Dad. I try and do the right thing. This little boy wasn't created to play keep away with. Nor was he created to fulfill some weird need to prove which parent is loved more. I'm okay with him loving anyone as much or more than he loves me. He was in pain. It was an instinct for him. I feel like shit that he wanted to be with me and Dad hates me so much that he had to shut it down. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I should have done differently so he didn't hate me so much. I would never do that. I would chew off my tongue before I would deny my the choice. aren't chattel. They're human beings with human needs. Maybe I should have shut him down right away. But I can't imagine a kid on the face of the earth who can rationalize mom saying well too bad it's Daddy's day. Time to deal. nice country guy wantedeveryone and everything for their good parts, and use other skills you develop (thru multiple lives) to the 'bad' as only a 'part' of what is. Evil doesn't pulsate % in a human body. It infects pieces of all of us at times. Your job is to strongly enough to have your perceptions widened to be closer to being a whole piece of the whole of (reality/God/a rock/you pick a name) which is without end. You'll get there. We all shedding the pieces of evil to fall to the hell which is 'nothingness'. Hell is true 'non-existance', not existing in a den of fire and misery. That's what's available right here on earth, if you follow it. What we with our eyes, is a zillionth of a zillionth of what 'is' rich dating
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