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-, Everything was fine. We were in my apt for a while before moving. There were no real quarrels or fights. As far as me making money, Im renting my place out to cover the mortgage and common charges. NO extra money is made. He knows what the mortgage and common charges are and he knows what my tenants pay. The action in the bed is just as regular as before (by regular i mean in frequency) I still cook, I still clean, I still do the laundry. I feed/walk the dog. I buy the groceries. I dont know what happened. Its like as as we moved in all hell broke loose. Like I said, I asked for him to join in looking at apartments even on weekends when he wasnt working. His response "I work all week underground, Im tired, I want my weekends" so what am I supposed to do with two weeks to move? Im far from controlling. I ALWAYS ask his input. I ALWAYS give him days to mull over a topic or decision as he does me. I didnt back him into a corner as one poster suggested. He walked into that corner. I dont like the feeling of havign no where to go and little time to figure it out. I promise it wasnt until we moved in to the new place where he started this behavior. He smiled everyday he came home in my condo. We out ate out, I cooked most of the time. did the laundry As for marriage, we spoke about it. Im not ready for it and neither is he. We are okay with that. That has never been a point of contention. i want to spend the rest of the nightHe should believe you because you are talking about your feelings. He should KNOW that he cannot force relationships. You don't need to PROVE anything to him. I get what you're doing but the more you write, the more I shake my head. You are creating an artifical reality that won't stand the test of time. I would NOT base my marriage on me being forced to do something that is pointless and wrong just so someone is happy. There's a difference between doing something to make your spouse happy and playing into spouses bullshit. IMO. My husband likes me to attend functions. I do it even though 90% of the time I'd rather not. I just don't that kind of thing as what your husband wants out of you. I think it's very sad that's he's so happy about something so artificial. There is no substance with him, it's the act, the show and not at all about the reality. I certainly wouldn't cater to someone who was using me to relieve his guilt. Counseling should spend a good deal of time making sure he owns his issues and is prepared to deal with them. Not playing this stupid pretend game. But my marriage is not yours. I wouldn't tolerate what yoru husband does, tolerate his mother or anything you've described. If I was you, I'd be walking. Seriously, this is no way to live. Basing your marital happiness on two dictated phone s to someone who you don't even like twice a week, that's just bullshit. And the house of cards come falling down one day. I don't have anything left to say that's supportive of you going along with this. It's not the phone s, it's your husband's denial and putting the burden on you. sweet teen
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