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I truly do him and sex isn't the problem, it is like he can't make time for me to kiss, hug, cuddle and go places- even just walk together I am thankful for him being a hardwoker and not going out with the boys, but I work too,and the 4 I am raising are his and them dearly But matter of fact I am social, to talk, laugh, go to concerts, I dont drink I have tried respecting him, not going out much less accept advances from other men, but is difficult to feel alone in a relationship. When we started, i told him we always needed to try to turn each other's head I would explain people have affairs becuase1, the other person isn't willing to do what theyt want inbed, but even find common interests, talk and dress up for them. I fufilled my end, I truly was the best lover, friend, wife I could be. But he didn't fufill his part Now he says he doesn't understand why I would want otu because of something so simple like wanting to go out on dates and because he doesn't give little gifts My question for him was, if those things were simple, then why doesn'i he do them if for no other reson than to make me content and quiet? He has no answer but I do he does not the importance in it for him. So I am left to wonder, is this marriage I have for 16-20 more years until we can't stand each other so much that we do treat each other so bitterly or cheat? I do not want either thing to happen I feel like if we end it now- maybe there is a we can be friendly done the road and give each other a to be happy. I am a very indendent person and feel even though us ending hurt so bad, maybe it is for the best but part me prays he want to be more invested in us before there is no us. I however, look for the book you suggested and read it and hopefully I can find more insight into help to slavage the relationship I am 37 and I know that starting again with someone lese at my age is probably impossible but sometimes it is better to BE alone than FEEL alone. Thank you for you r insight , just being able to talk about it with a stranger helps take off some of the stress.:) ran into you a couple weeks agoRemain calm. Once you let emotion take the drivers seat, you go over a. You have to be careful whenever you engage with her. Be very clear. For example: Her (emotionally out of control): I bring our over later. You (calmly): When? What time? Her (more emotion): Later! Calm down. You (Still calm): I need to know what time. Her (losing it): Six tonight, muthafucka! You (calm): Great. I be here at six tonight. Thank you. That's the way it's gonna go down, on your part. You not scream or raise your voice. If she chooses to do that, you wait until she yells herself out. When she's quiet you ask her if she's done. If she says yes, then you calmly clarify what the point of the conversation is so that you both understand what is being said. You never resort to violence, and you never take it. You walk away. If she get's physical, you walk away. Best of luck. oriental dating
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