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Here's the thing: You can't just pluck one thing out of the air and pass judgement on your BF's entire financial management without giving us a little more background. If $ is a negligible amount to him, then you don't get to judge. IF he has savings, isn't in debt up to his eyeballs and is generally fairly responsible then he can spend his money any damn way he pleases. It's not your place to "approve" of what he spends his money on, in that case. Do I think $ is silly for a pair of casual sneakers for ANYONE? Sure. I wouldn't pay it, I'm not really a fashionista, but I don't begrudge anyone paying, IF THEY CAN AFFORD IT. (I have to admit, I once saw a pair of Louboutins that completely entranced me but couldn't bring myself to spend $ on a pair of shoes. That's MY choice. It certainly doesn't stop some people!) However, I did pay $ for soccer shoes for my one year he was playing on a club/travel team, and he wears a size 15 hard to find even regular shoes, much less well-fitting soccer shoes (and they HAVE to fit, the way those had to change direction on a dime.) He took care of them, kept 'em clean and even conditioned them occasionally. He appreciated them. Does your BF's appreciate the shoes? Or does he just toss 'em aside like last week's paper? Do a backcheck and make sure that your own financial and romantic history isn't coloring your judgement on your boyfriend's spending habits. You grew up poor. OK, yeah, a lot of people did. Growing up poor doesn't make you morally superior. (Neither does growing up, but that's another story.) I can why you might be nervous, especially if your ex was not fisy responsible. You say that he likes to spend money, but again DOES HE HAVE IT TO SPEND? If you and he co-mingle your finances, then you might want to consider taking a financial management class together, such as Ramsey's Financial Peace (take the 13-week seminar, it's more powerful than the on-line offerings, because it's harder to duck behind rationalizations. :-) It's a great program for getting partners on the same, financially, and helping them organize their financial goals in sensible ways. free adult no registration chat in Garrison MarylandThat is, start getting prepared now to live your future life. If you don't leave her, be sure to at least get yourself tested for HIV and do always wear a condom yourself from now on, because she has proven she cannot be relied on. Start habits of diet, exercise, sleep, vaccines, wear seat belts, whatever. Take care of yourself. Start preparing NOW for the possibility that you divorce. don't tell her or her friends/family, but start getting your ducks in a row. Slowly start building up a nest egg. Find out about good family lawyers in your area and start saving for the legal costs and retainer. Cancel accounts that are in both your names, if possible. Find day care possibilities even now, maybe get in good with your parents or other relatives in the. Maybe secretly rent a cheap storage locker and start surreptitiously putting some physical assets in it. It be a little illegal, but it might be necessary. Perhaps do not buy big assets (house) because she might take you for half. Document everything she does that is wrong, especially involving the. Get her social security number, get her drivers license, get the of any trade licenses she has. If she is not working, encourage her to get some job now. Start going, even now, to different churches or social gatherings where she is not already known. Educate yourself as much as possible. Always look upon this relationship with as much cold logic as you are able to muster, remembering to be polite at all times. Whatever happens, always treat your as well as you can. Put them absolutely first. Spouses/lovers come and go, but your you forever if you are decent at all. Life is a b***tch but you get through this and be happy again in the haul. single online dating
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