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You are missing the key word EXCESSIVE , or do you really thing that ANY amount is enough to ruin an LTR or marriage. Any activity that is done without your partner in excess have a profound adverse effect on your relationship. (nothing earth shattering) looking for a night of fun w wto get a handle on. You can't very well expect someone to put themselves under YOUR control if it's evident that YOU can't control YOURself. Good on you for recognizing this. Getting 'carried away' is really easy to do and fighting that actually runs counter to a positive characteristic of good dominants the ability to be spontaneous in scene. So there's a balance to be struck. What I would suggest if you feel like you're being 'overly spontaneous' (getting carried away too often) is to literally write our a script for the scene. You can share it with her (or not) if you like, but the idea is that you have a list of activities you wish to accomplish. You can even make it a roleplay activity if you like (tell her you're shooting a porno) and that the script MUST be followed, and that her performance be evaluated. But the key is that after you're satisfied that a particular activity has been sufficiently explored, you GO BACK TO THE SCRIPT for the next activity. If she does particularly well with an activity, you can give her a brief reward (I like a quick two-fingered orgasm) between activities, but always go back to the script. Experience eventually allow you to discard a script and allow you to play more spontaneously. But in the meantime, you're gathering information on what works (and doesn't) with her and can use that to inform your next script writing exercize. 50 plus dating
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