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analyzing him, at least make it productive. Write down things that at first you thought were cute, helpful, caring ..and now you realize they were just examples of extreme control. (Assuming you realize he has issues with control) Ever wonder how people who have to control absolutely everything about everyone around them get girlfriends/boyfriends? I mean who would be with someone like that. It starts slow and at first the things they do seem endearing, helpful, wow isn't it nice he brought cable organizers over to my house, isn't it sweet he wants to paint my kitchen a color he likes, he must care for my safety if he's always watching my driving Then after a while these things aren't cute, not at all. They're controlling. Nothing about you, from your vocabulary and syntax to your house to your driving is acceptable. Write these things down and learn to recognize red flags before they suck you in. sex tonight 43968I really, really hate to say this but it always be a 'live today as it is' kind of thing. It's awesome that the person went to rehab. It's great that s/he wants something different and you all want better for her, too. Support him/her as you can through this. Send notes of support. Enjoy your life and all the little things. BUT this not be a 3 to 6 month wait for a "result". This be a lifetime of work and successes and failures and potential heartbreak. My brother has been to rehab at least 20 times (that I know of) and he currently uses. He has had clean time sometimes 2 years at a stretch but he doesn't even try anymore. We have no relationship. He doesn't have my # because he only ed for money in the middle of the night or to be bailed out of jail. We are civil, even friendly, when there are family gatherings and I him but I can't support his choices and I can't, as sad as this sounds, get my hopes up again. What is even sadder is how he must feel about failing all of these times. All that said (probably too much) that doesn't mean that is your family's fate. I worked in a rehab and I saw a lot of successes. In my current job I both those who stay clean and those who cannot. There is never a clue that one do it and one not. But most important this is key even the successes had relapses along the way. Rehabs often tell them that "relapse is part of the process" and it is. It's like they often want to test to if they can use in moderation. Test to if all those things they learned in rehab are true. Some never make it out of the relapse. go to rehab several times before it "takes." Some don't relapse for years and almost need a refresher rehab after so because they forgot to remain vigilant of themselves and take care of themselves. This be a lifetime of caring for him/herself. Like diabetes, she'll have daily maintenance to do. The hard part for you is to keep your but also be realistic and don't crash and burn if s/he relapses. It happens a lot before term sobriety "sticks". I highly recommend Alanon. You learn a lot and meet others who are where you are. They also have alateen for teens affected by other's addiction. e alanon and find a meeting near you and recommend it to your family and friends. Peace to you and yours. match maker dating
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