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And even in that old age guys can make really bad decisions and say stupid things. I'm not going to generalize here and claim that its % of guys, but there are a certain amount out there that once the batter gets on the they don't have a filter and find themselves flirting, hitting on, or trying to get some sexual activity out of any woman they think they have a with. Why after 18 years of being divorced he thought of you being available even though you're married probably has a lot to do with the divorce. But he's probably had a few fantasies about you recently and thought the rekindle things. Good thing you divorced this one. looking for teacher for new style fuckYet the reality is her lovers give her more intense sexual than I do. When I say this I mean it purely on sexual level. One thing this life style has taught her is how to compartmentalize her sexuality and sexual pleasure. She has the ability to separate sex from and understands that her lovers are for sex. Yet when they are together, the power of their sex is so real and raw. Our sex is loving and intimate and wonderful. Their sex is powerful and deliberate and epic. I know it sounds odd, but the course of their relationships has been much like a heavyweight boxing match. Two finely tuned athletes first feeling each other out and then eventually standing toe to toe, delivering blow after blow, challenging the other give rise up and find their best, finishing the match totally spent and exhausted. Being a part of it for me is a thrill. I her so dearly and seeing her realize the fullness of her sexuality in the context of our marriage and the pleasure that has brought to both of us is nearly beyond description. And being able to share intimacies, and kink with her on my own right is a in and of itself. Yet in the midst of all this, sex and kink, I'd be lying if I didn't recognize a certain amount of uneasiness, nervousness perhaps even anxiety. I'm thrilled she's so fulfilled but why can't I be the one who provides it? What if I were capable of giving her THOSE kind of orgasms? don't get me wrong, I'm far from saying that I'm ready to reign things back in a more monogamous fashion. And I have shared these concerns with her and she gets it. She is very sensitive to my needs. We spend a lot of time cuddling and talking, sometimes immediately after they've finished fucking. This has been great. The only thing we haven't talked about is ending the lifestyle and going back. I'm not saying I want that. If I did I'd feel comfortable saying it to her. Yet at the same time I just feel like, in ways, the dye has been cast. There is no turning back. I'm not sure now our relationship could withstand it. I guess this has been an extremely way of me asking a very simple question. For those involved in this lifestyle, have you experienced this feeling I've described? Of wanting all this for your spouse, yet at the same time being somewhat conflicted by it? dating reunited
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