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Nice article, but I'm not sure I buy it. The philosophy described works OK if both parties are unselfishly devoted to each other, but if one is always giving and the other is selfish or narcissistic or both, it be a slow-moving disaster. I think marriage should not be all about the other person. It should be about US, both of us, with neither party excluded from one's consideration. When there are, it should be about all of us, which is trickier, but a rewarding balancing act. single man looking for playmate
But I think they're all useful for telling you something different about the person. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how they all work together, which is part of why I was curious to hear other people's ideas. So everything below is just a tentative stab at this. I think D tells you how a person relates to other people, the world, and to themselves. Do they take care in their relations? Is it about them, or are relations reciprocal? Do they prefer immediate gratification or do they prefer the idea of gratification (fantasy)? I think B is important, but instead of WHAT the person is drawn to, I think it is more important THAT a person be passionate. I don't really care if they are passionate about music, or books, or sailboarding, or rabbits. But having a passion, and not just wimpy likes, indicates that a person is ALIVE, that they life itself. I think C tells you what a person admires, and also what they think of themselves, as well as what kind of power relations they conceive of between people. Those are all really, really important. Do they respect themselves? Do they want to fix other people? Do they want someone to control them? E is the least important to me, although I think it can give you insight into the order of importance a person places on competing desires. So a person might think family is important as well as happiness, but if they forgo their own happiness to keep their family satisfied, then it tells you which they value more. A is completely irrelevant, except insofar as it affects the way a person gets treated by other people, and so it shapes them in various ways. But I think the way that shaping happens is totally dependent on all the other choices above, so those are the important ones. 420 friendly mommy looking for sameover a handy; I feel I bring so more of my gifts to bear. I like watching, but I usually start to get impatient and want in on the action after a while. Of course, if I knew a HJ was super exciting to the other person, I'm nothing if not accommodating horney girl
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