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Today i filed for divorce after 23 years, 11 months or marriage. High school sweethearts, now in our early 40's. I sex, so that wasn't the issue.. he didn't want it, and that wasn't the issue. He wanted someone yeah thats the issue. 5 years ago he fell in with someone he met through work. I caught him 1 yr after they got together, and he swore he would break it off, so I let him stay. 6 months after that, i caught him again. He swore it was only a phone.. 2 months later he told me he was unsure if he could ever get over her.. and went away for a weekend to "think" about it. He thought about it, and HE decided he wanted to date her while staying married to what his feelings were for her. I told him he was insane, and there was no way I was going to stick around for that. He broke it off with her again. That lasted maybe 2 more months. But I didn't catch him again until it had been almost exactly a year from first time. So like, 5 times that year.. that time i kicked him out. he broke it off with her again, and swore that was it, he was going to dedicate himself to working on our marriage. Of course by now, I have severe trust issues.. how the hell can i trust him after so times? But I tried.. I tried to let it go, and be everything he wanted, and shower him with and affection. Things seemed to be going okay, but last year, started downhill again. I tried to trust.. but then 4 months ago, he started treating me like crap again.. like he did when he loved someone.. so i finally forced myself to start checking up on him again. yeah, I caught him again. same woman, 2 years and 10 months after he moved back home. When i confronted him, he admitted they had actually been back together for 2 years. So.. he's basiy been cheating on my for the past 5 years So I was filing for divorce. He asked for legal separation, and I found out i can amend separation to divorce at any time so I did that, I don't want to fight, I just want this to end. My question is, how do I get over this I have poured myself into for almost 24 years? we have 2 grown, but I am by no means old, and I want a forever companion. I signed up for the forever, till death do us part package not this thing I have now. When is it safe to begin looking again, without burdening a new relationship with my baggage? doreen m Franklintown PennsylvaniaWe were married for 13 years, got divorced and maintained seperate households, shared custody of. I was a drunk (reason for divorce) but got serious about sobriety while single. She started showing interest and we dated for a year, then I moved back in. We did not get remarried just because we felt like that was a jinx. We stayed together like a married couple for 21 more years, and I found out that she had been having a sexual affair for almost two years. She had presented herself as divorced and she got taken up on it. Little by little I watched her become a floozy and a liar. This time SHE was the drunk and it has totally ruined her personality as far as I'm concerned. I tried desperately to win her back, to get her to end the affair, and she repeatedly told me that she had, and that I was her only. I caught her red-handed times, that last of which I took a picture of her car in his driveway. I confronted her that night (she came home 5 hours later with her hair and clothes totally messed up, and she was drunk), and she said it wasn't her car! I told her I wouldn't talk to her again until she was ready to come clean. She said "whatever". I stayed another days while I was making arrangements to get out. She never once tried to get honest with me, and I left her 20 days ago. She is going to the bf in two months, according to my granddaughter. She tried to me for support, but since we never remarried, she gets nothing unless I do it voluntarily. I was being a hardass, no communication, no money, but the truth is I need those house payments made or it's my neck on the line. I'm doing a lot of hard thinking, but from my perspective, getting back together was the very worst 21 years of my life. adult dating site
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