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regardless of saving the marriage or not. He suffers no consequences because you won't stand up for your marriage. You're letting this be HIS marriage. Time to show him what he's asking for. First, bullshit on his crap about not wanting to hurt you he doesn't care what this is doing to you. Tell him him you won't allow any more lies, he can spew his shit to his married girlfriend. Second tell him he has a choice, get with the program or get divorced. This I would do AFTER consulting an attorney. Third, let him know point blank it's too bad he doesnt like what this doing to your. He doesn't get to shit on their mother behind their backs. don't worry you'll work on coparenting with him during and after the divorce and be fair with custody. They won't be learning what a shit he is from you he is taking care of that on his own. You're done jumping to his whims. Here's the tricky part .no emotions and mean it. It's time to get to work and that energy be spent in one of two ways focusing on a dissolution of marriage with a fair division of assets white man seeking black woman only man looking for a lady in Brentwood Maryland
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