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You say it's decision time but from what your wrote you've already done that. You just want to figure out how to get out clean. Ain't gonna happen, you're NOT clean so quit trying to come out smelling like a. Divorce stinks and it stinks bad. You're going to feel like dogshit, you SHOULD feel like dogshit. That's just a part of it. There's no right way, there is only the best you can do. It's that simple and oh so fucking hard to do. It's money where your mouth is time, you decided to say fuck it a year ago, let her scramble and dance around keeping some alive. So now here you are talking about guilt trips and making a decision when what you're really saying is you want to lower the boom after the holidays. Let the have a nice fake Christmas and for a New Year's resolution file a divorce suit. Yup, you're going to come off as a deceptive fuck, your wife be pissed because she suddenly did everything she could to save the marriage and you wouldn't budge. She or not bash you in front of the, depends on her and maybe you and how you act. It take time to have that pain go away and some never let go of it. So you have to ask yourself, what IS the best way? What does that mean? And most importantly, what are you prepared to do in order to know you did your best? Not say, fucking DO. How about research? Real research, go online and to book stores, get expert opinion, a divorce counselor, prepare yourself and prepare yourself to not react to attacks. Expect her to lash out, be angry, pull guilt trips she has every right to be pissed off and angry at you. You're rejecting her. So this becomes personnel, what are you personally willing to do in order to make sure you do your best? And maybe, perhaps before you pull the ripcord on all this shit ask yourself this question why won't I do that now in my marriage? Not saying that this one isn't DOA but you'll have time to contemplate that later too why didn't I lay it on the line years ago? Good luck to ya, good peeps fuck it up all the time and it hurts but DO your best. masturbate to porn and squirt with me
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